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Is it possible to start again?!

(2 Posts)
Msqueen33 Fri 16-Dec-16 15:54:00

Is it possible to build a new life after a marriage breakup? I've been with dh 6 years and have three children aged up to 8. Two have special needs.

My dh is the main wage earner. I'm a sahm to care for the children with disabilities. I need more help and support. Dh feels his job is what he does and everything else falls to me. I don't mind during the week that at all it's how it should be but I feel he needs to take more interest in their education and medical things and give me more emotional support. He doesn't. Nothing seems to change. This year for my birthday he brought me nothing. Cards were brought the day before and the kids wanted to buy me something but he left it too late to do anything. I don't feel special nor that he can be very bothered.

My question is if things end between us where does that leave me financially? At some time in the future I would like to meet someone else but would anyone want me plus my children. At the moment I feel very sad about my marriage. No amount of chats have managed to alter my dh's behaviour. Recently I locked my bank account where the kids benefits go as he moves most of the money into an isa in his name. This is a bone of contention tho I do tell him what money we have. My mum feels he's controlling and in some ways he is but he's not a bad guy, I have access to money, he's not verbally abusive or physically so but I feel like a second class citizen. His mother defers to men and I suspect this is in part where his attitude has come from.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 16-Dec-16 16:37:35

Of course you can start again.
Many many people do.
I only had 1 child though so it was easier.
It must be hard going.
Unappreciated, not presents. I'd go ape shit if I was you.
It's no wonder the love has gone.

No-one can predict if you will meet someone but I don't see why not.
Will you ever be without your children or do they have lifelong needs?

I also think your mum is right.
Would she help you out in the short-term?
Would he agree to move out?

Have a chat with a solicitor as well and see where you would stand financially if you were to split.
He's about a useful as a chocolate tea-pot so I can't see the benefit of staying with him!

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