We have a son who is 2 years old. My ideal would be to start trying when he is 4 and a half. I have always wanted that. I am part-time, so he goes to nursery for one of those days, my mum and dad's for one of them and my MIL and FIL's for the other. It works well, I have him for the other days - on Sunday we both have him (DH and I). I really like our current set up, I can do swimming lessons with him (still parent and toddler classes) and he often enjoys some other classes that I can take him to also and do together. On the evenings of the day I have had him, DH has him while I go to my dance classes, on the days that I am at work, I pick him up from whoever has looked after him and have him while DH can meet friends/go to his guitar lesson. On Sunday we go out as a family - the zoo for example. It is a really lovely balance, we all get to spend lots of time with him, but also have a bit of our own time, we both still have a job and family get to see him on their own too. I couldn't be happier with the set-up. I really don't think having a second baby at this time will add to our family, I think it will just put stress on it. He says 2 years is the perfect age gap (statistically) and that's what he would like. He says he would be happy for me to be a SAHM, but I personally would really like to keep my part-time job, as I am still paying of the bloody student loan (not really the reason ) but because I just like it, I am not particularly careersy, definitely for maternal, but my job involves helping others and I find it very rewarding. Basically, I just want my first son to be at school when 2nd child is born. It's just how I want it. However, as DH wants this 2 year gap, do I have to compromise? I honestly don't know if this is something you compromise on. I said we could, if he went part-time - when I was full-time, we both had the same income, so it would be no different to me just becoming a SAHM, we would be fine on this income too, but he doesn't want to go part-time, so I feel like if he doesn't want to go part-time, we shouldn't go for it? I'm not saying having a toddler and baby isn't doable, but I personally don't want a toddler and baby together! As most of the classes DS does (with me) need me in the class until 4th birthday. I feel like I wouldn't be able to do these classes with second baby then either (which I definitely want to)... Basically, after all that waffle do I have to compromise? I kind of feel like I am offering a compromise by saying if he goes part-time and not me become a SAHM, like I say, our set up at the mo, it just wouldn't work. TIA! x
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Do I have to compromise on the age gap between our children/future children?
Oooh1 · 16/12/2016 01:50
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