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how to keep going

(5 Posts)
lovehopkiss Fri 16-Dec-16 01:42:47

I've had the worst year I could ever have imagined and I'm now in the process of getting divorced. I've just found out that my ex is quite seriously involved with someone new. He's getting a new house and seems to be living the high life and badmouthing me to anyone who'll listen. I however am literally falling apart. It's 1:40am and I'm sat crying and crying for another night. I don't know how to live anymore, I don't know how to get over the pain. I have my annual appraisal at work tomorrow which is going to be terrible. I'm really struggling sad

heartbreak123 Fri 16-Dec-16 02:29:37

My heart goes out to youflowers
I'm sat here doing the same thing for the exact same reasons. I can quite literally say worst year of my life too xxx

pallasathena Fri 16-Dec-16 09:30:43

This too shall pass.
Life can be horrible at times and it is that time of year when everything wrong in our lives is magnified.
You need to put yourself first now: eat, sleep, push thoughts that are negative right out of your mind and something that I found to be hugely helpful when I went through similar was to 'Fake it until you make it'.
Oh yes. It works. Put on clothes that make you feel great, chin up and shoulders back and practise being awesome!
Because you are.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 16-Dec-16 09:31:53

It's a horrible feeling.
So many of us know only too well what this is like.
I used to cry for hours and hours.
But you honestly will start to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Not for a while but you will.
I did end up at the GP for sleeping pills as the no sleep was getting ridiculous.
It just helps to get your sleep pattern back on track.
So if you aren't coping please do go to see your GP.

I'm sorry it's all been so awful for you.
But keep going, you will get there.
Take it one hour at a time.

Please also let them know at your appraisal so they understand what is going on.
Most people are very understanding and they can help with support for you.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach Fri 16-Dec-16 11:34:21

Be kind to yourself. Don't expect too much from yourself. It's a big thing that you are going through and right now your emotions will be heavy and raw. And the divorce process is tough, even when it's you who initiated and wanted it. I initiated mine as my ex was impossible to live with and not very nice, but I still 'mourned' the end of the relationship and the marriage. Even though I am happier without him, I still felt it.

But it will get better. You just keep moving forwards, one step at a time.

Soon enough you will start to feel free and strong and liberated. You will.

Everyday, pat yourself on the back for your progress, whether it be fixing something yourself that you would have asked him to do, or ticking a box on the divorce process, or even just a day where you cried less than yesterday. Celebrate the little wins.

Practice lots of self care. Baths, early nights, chick flick + wine, whatever feels like a treat that's just for you. And make sure to eat, keep your strength up. Take some vitamins. Make your self as strong as you can be, bit by bit.

You will get there flowers

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