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New partner and bondage

(100 Posts)
sorryoldwoman Thu 15-Dec-16 18:12:20

Have a new relationship with great chemistry. Partner is much more experienced and is into bondage. I totally trust him already I don't have any doubts he would only do what I wanted but I really don't think it would do a thing for me. I'd do it to try and please him but we are both over 60 and I'm not in great physical shape I get aches and pains easily! He emailed me links to learn about the safe rules. Also sent me a pic of a leather wrist band with a lock on it or was it to go around my neck??? I'm beginning to think I should let him find someone younger and into such so I don't disappoint him. He could drop dead and I'm under lock and key!

Allalonenow Thu 15-Dec-16 18:15:07

Don't have anything padlocked around your neck, you hardly know the guy.

sorryoldwoman Thu 15-Dec-16 18:45:40

Must be for the wrist now I look at it again.

AnyFucker Thu 15-Dec-16 18:47:05

If it "won't do a thing for you" then don't do it

sorryoldwoman Thu 15-Dec-16 18:47:21

Maybe I just need advice what to say to end this. Never dumped someone before.

AnyFucker Thu 15-Dec-16 18:48:28

You say "I am ending this"

Then you don't see him again

PoldarksBreeches Thu 15-Dec-16 18:49:37

Don't be daft. Bondage (which is a 'nice' way of saying that he enjoys hurting and humiliating women) is going to be completely horrible and humiliating to you unless you really want to do it. Never debase yourself for a man's sexual gratification.

sorryoldwoman Thu 15-Dec-16 18:50:10

How do you know you won't enjoy something if you've never done it? Isn't being open to try things at least once being a good lover? As long as it doesn't hurt of course.

BastardBernie Thu 15-Dec-16 18:51:34

It's going to hurt. Sorry blush

AnyFucker Thu 15-Dec-16 18:52:27

Do you want to end it with him or don't you ?

sorryoldwoman Thu 15-Dec-16 18:52:56

Ok thanks to you both I tend to over think things. I'm ending this is what I'm saying.

Kel1234 Thu 15-Dec-16 18:53:17

Only do it if it's something you are 100% comfortable with doing.

AnyFucker Thu 15-Dec-16 18:54:45

I'm lost.

PoldarksBreeches Thu 15-Dec-16 18:54:51

What do you think he plans to do after he's tied you up? confused

MrsHathaway Thu 15-Dec-16 18:54:52

I can tell you without hesitation that I wouldn't enjoy sex games including defecation. I don't need to try it even once with a loving partner to be absolutely sure.

You don't have to dump him if he's otherwise nice. Just say very plainly that that kind of play is absolutely not your thing and you have no interest in trying.

Have you had other sex with him? I can't tell. If so, you have an established repertoire to fall back on. If not, it's up to him to say whether he'd be interested in more vanilla activities with you.

If he can't get horny without bondage, and bondage isn't your thing, then you are not sexually compatible and can move on with no hard feelings.

TDHManchester Thu 15-Dec-16 19:13:35

Each to their own but it has never been my cup of tea.

KatieScarlett Thu 15-Dec-16 19:16:07

Isn't there a sex topic for sex people?
Or has it gone?

AnyFucker Thu 15-Dec-16 19:18:00

There is still a sex topic for sex people. I think you have to have been a member for 3 months though.

member !!!!

Arf. < gets coat >

Spottytop1 Thu 15-Dec-16 19:19:20

Bondage involves many different aspects - some do hurt, some do not and are more restraint. The key thing is communication and trust. You need to know him well and have face to face discussions about it all including what you are willing to do/not do etc.

Speak to him and go from there, but do not do anything you are uncomfortable with.

KatieScarlett Thu 15-Dec-16 19:25:58

AF that was terrible.
(OK, so I snickered like Benny Hill)

Chops2016 Thu 15-Dec-16 19:26:38

Whoa, since when did bondage mean 'sex games including defecation' and pain (I thought that was s&m?) Isnt bondage just restraint/tying up?

I'll echo previous posters saying if it isn't something you're into then don't do it. If he's a loving partner he wouldn't want you to endure something you find unpleasant just to please him.

AnyFucker Thu 15-Dec-16 19:27:11

I am a "sex person" don'tcha know grin

KatieScarlett Thu 15-Dec-16 19:32:49

Nonononono
That's like finding out your GP is a swinger. At a cheese and wine party.
No sticks fingers in ears while rocking

AnyFucker Thu 15-Dec-16 19:42:00

Haha grin

Summerlovinf Thu 15-Dec-16 19:46:23

No defecation games on a first date - not that kinda girl grin

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