Found out OH had looked at stuff years ago, was the first time I'd come up against this in a relationship and was pretty mad about it. He said he wouldn't look again. Surprise surprise. He did. A few times.
On this most recent occasion I've been able to see some of the stuff he's looked at, and although it's pretty tame really (no interaction as far as I am aware) I'm still pretty disgusted that he has spent his free time looking at this stuff, bookmarking some woman pleasuring herself with a sex toy (sorry, tmi) etc, and creating a folder to look at later. In the interests of not drip feeding, I think this is mostly while working away (most recently, though not always). I tried to change the way I thought of it by suggesting couples stuff but he's not shown any interest in that. It's all about him watching the naked 'ladies' .
Don't flame me for trying to dictate what he watches, my issue is more trying to come to terms with his dishonesty and my disgust. He says every man does it, and doesn't think it's a big thing at all. Sometimes he just clicks links from his gaming community 'just out of interest'. I don't really understand that and he can't see why I'm offended by him looking at all these pretty young attention seekers who put this stuff out there. I've tried to explain and directed him to an online article about the effects of (solo) porn on relationships but he was very dismissive about it.
I'm not going to LTB over it, but are there any advice/research/articles anyone knows of that would help me come to terms with my disgust at his habits and dismissive attitude? He has said he won't look yet again, obviously I'm not convinced, which starts off a whole new argument that I don't trust him and just keep on attacking him. I don't, that's how he perceives it. I get angry every time I think about the situation now and it's keeping me up at night!
Sorry for the ramble, needed to vent!
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Relationships
Sorry, it's that old porn cliche again...
namechange102 · 15/12/2016 12:11
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