Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

To think I should be allowed

(192 Posts)
FuckDaddyPig Thu 15-Dec-16 11:26:33

To buy my daughter a couple of Christmas presents! OH is mad at me for not Christmas shopping with him. I was just in tesco on my way home from school run and saw a great deal on a couple of dolls. We had already discussed we would get these, so I just grabbed them whilst I was there and the account was full! Now im in the wrong and im getting told off for buying them.(without him)
AIBU to think im a grown woman with 3 kids I should be allowed to buy presents!
He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first? I saw a few mummies grabbing some bargains!

YelloDraw Thu 15-Dec-16 11:27:46

He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first

Sounds very controlling unless there is a massive back story about your spending?

FuckDaddyPig Thu 15-Dec-16 11:27:56

Excuse for the error they're Birthday presents (Christmas Eve).

CaraAspen Thu 15-Dec-16 11:27:56

He sounds like a controlling fool.

pinkyredrose Thu 15-Dec-16 11:28:46

YANBU! Would he buy something without discussing it with you?

iklboo Thu 15-Dec-16 11:29:06

Buy him a calendar & point out that it isn't 1950?

deblet Thu 15-Dec-16 11:30:18

I think he needs to talk to some other mums. I don't know any mums who wait for dad to buy anything. I have had a christmas shopping day with my husband when he has had an odd day off otherwise I buy when I see things. He sounds either a bit odd or a controlling headcase.

Hardshoulder Thu 15-Dec-16 11:30:32

He said no other woman would do this without discussing it with their husbands first?

What is the context to this weird remark? Are you a SAHP with him controlling the finances, and he thinks you're supposed to ask for permission to spend money, even on pre-agreed purchases? Is he normally a complete pillock?

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Thu 15-Dec-16 11:31:00

Load of bollocks. Most people would get them if they saw them, particularly as you've already said she's having them. I know my DH would & so would I.

rightsofwomen Thu 15-Dec-16 11:32:27

There must be more to this.
This cannot have been the first time you've bought something without discussing with him first. Surely.

Randytortoise Thu 15-Dec-16 11:32:36

My dc would be waiting a very long time for presents if they had to wait for both me and dh to have time off together to shop!

You were definitely right!

FuckDaddyPig Thu 15-Dec-16 11:33:13

No, no spending history like that etc. He always does this when I shop! Im a woman its my job. He's more bothered about not going with me. Doing it together. But im getting so much shit for it. He starts getting really horrid. Basically this is a tantrum

Frusso Thu 15-Dec-16 11:33:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite Thu 15-Dec-16 11:33:25

That's worrying. What other stuff does he control?

Not normal behaviour OP.

Houseworkavoider Thu 15-Dec-16 11:34:11

This woman does it all the time!
He is being unbelievably unreasonable!!

xStefx Thu 15-Dec-16 11:35:22

Is he usually this controlling? Tell him to stop sulking :-)

SoupDragon Thu 15-Dec-16 11:35:49

Looking at your other thread, why are you with him?

Ineededtonamechange Thu 15-Dec-16 11:36:08

What? You had agreed to get them - so he was part of the decision making process, but is having a strop for not being there when you put your pin number in?

This is very weird and controlling... My husband doesn't "allow" me to do things - I am an adult and pick and choose for myself.

I wouldn't make decisions about main presents without talking it through, but that is because we are a team and I want his input. But smaller gifts/him actually being there to pay is never a factor.

Very odd.

FuckDaddyPig Thu 15-Dec-16 11:36:17

Its not the first time I am a SAHM he works about 2-4 hours a day. I dont think the money or the presents are the problem. Its the fact I've done most the xmas shopping without him??? Of course ive been the one around to do it!

MrsHouseBrownie Thu 15-Dec-16 11:36:35

My OH has had zero input this Christmas with regards to kids presents. I get the lot. Mainly cause I love shopping and he doesn't. Its too much effort to drag him round the shops. He can buy other stuff if he wants and so can I. We only consult on the big things that are £££. Sounds very odd to me.

NavyandWhite Thu 15-Dec-16 11:38:11

He works 2-4 hours a day?

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 15-Dec-16 11:40:21

"We had already discussed we would get these"
So the decision was made together, it was just the physical purchase of them that needed to happen.

"He always does this when I shop! Im a woman its my job."
Do you mean it's your job to physically do the shopping, or your job to be in the wrong?

"He's more bothered about not going with me. Doing it together. But im getting so much shit for it. He starts getting really horrid. Basically this is a tantrum"
If he's so bothered about actually being the one to hand over the money, I suggest he does all shopping for the household from now on. Every fucking day/week/month of the year.

As for tantrum - well I'm sure you know how to deal with that. Calmly send him to the naughty step (in your head at least) and do not budge. Tantrums cannot be rewarded.

He sounds a big bit of a knob.

FuckDaddyPig Thu 15-Dec-16 11:40:58

Ive told him he needs to learn his behaviour Is controlling but he cant see why. Im just a bitch for saying that. He's liie jekkyl n hyde. Lol he would talk to other mums but still have his way! I do talk to him about gifts I show him every last thing I want to get.

He himself bought a present last week (I wasn't with him)(I thought nothing of it) I actually said well done for getting such a bargain smile. I didnt actually give a hoot he'd brought it "without me"

MrsSthe3rd Thu 15-Dec-16 11:42:05

To be clear YANBU. AT ALL!!

I don't know ANYone that thinks like he does.

This is very odd.

grannytomine Thu 15-Dec-16 11:43:29

I don't know any men who do the shopping without a gun to their heads. I wonder why he thinks this is normal.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now