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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Threatened by my lovely sons

68 replies

AlanFordsGangsterGlasses · 14/12/2016 21:40

Hello

Can anyone explain why my partner goes berserk at the suggestion of my 13yo son staying with us, or his 18yo big bro. The very suggestion of this tips an otherwise reasonably normal bloke over the edge with much yelling and offers for him to pay for me to leave and get alternative accommodation. So my sons visit, but don't stay over. WTF? Am not scared or sobbing cos have had this off and on for too long now. Just trying to think what the heck - why? There's deffo a bit of passive/aggressive going on here -and he hates any other bloke showing any interest in me whatsoever. But he's a teacher and in that role is great with teens. Oh, he has no kids of his own due to fucked up rel with younger woman who ran off with much younger bloke. Anyone else had similar and know why?

OP posts:

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Cricrichan · 14/12/2016 21:44

What? How can you be in a relationship with someone who won't let your sons stay over,? Where are they Normally then? Does he live with you?

luckymucky · 14/12/2016 21:45

No person would ever tell me that my children were not welcome to stay with me. I wouldn't even bother to try and analyse the reason why.
Put your children first and get rid of your 'D'P.

Aquasport · 14/12/2016 21:45

Can I get this right op - you have two sons you are not allowed to see overnight? At this partners discretion?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 14/12/2016 21:46

Do they live with their dad(s)?

luckymucky · 14/12/2016 21:46

Honestly, is this a wind up? You really give a shit what his reasons are. Your poor children.

pictish · 14/12/2016 21:47

He won't let your sons stay the night?

whattheseithakasmean · 14/12/2016 21:47

Sounds like my mum's DH. She got with him when we were teens and he has always been shit to us & v jealous of our relationship with mum. It is utterly utterly crap and I do judge her harshly for staying with him. It feels like she chose him over us. And he isn't worth it, the nasty fucker. Anyhow, she is my mum, so what can you do? I feel so sorry for your children in this.

PoldarksBreeches · 14/12/2016 21:47

Why the ever loving fuck are you tolerating this?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 14/12/2016 21:47

So your children don't live with you because your partner won't let them - you have totally the wrong priorities, sorry

iklboo · 14/12/2016 21:48

Run. He won't let you spend overnight visits with your boys - to the extent that he screams and shouts at you - and gets jealous if other men 'show an interest' in you?

CocktailQueen · 14/12/2016 21:50

Op, why the fuck are you asking us? We don't know.

Ask your h instead.

Who do your sons live with? How long have you been with your h? And why the hell are you allowing him to tell you when you see your DC and how long they stay?

Bet he's a controlling fucker in other areas of your relationship too.

Get rid of him, op.

jeaux90 · 14/12/2016 21:51

This has to be a wind up

msrisotto · 14/12/2016 21:53

erm what the fuck OP? You're talking as if this is a normal thing! This is certainly not! Who even speaks to others like that???

tribpot · 14/12/2016 21:53

Why would you be allowing this?

whattheseithakasmean · 14/12/2016 21:55

I don't think this is a wind up, because I have been that teen, Sadly, plenty women put their new man before their kids, it is far from unheard of. But is sucks.

Hassled · 14/12/2016 21:57

No wonder his ex ran off with someone else. If this is real, sort your priorities out pronto because you are really going to mess up your boys if you let this bastard win this fight.

SparklyMagpie · 14/12/2016 22:00

FUCK THAT!!

Please tell us you're having us on?

No way would I stand for that!!

Not a chance!

So on the off chance that this is true, fucking get rid, NOW!

ohfourfoxache · 14/12/2016 22:00

Wtaf?

Ditch this idiot and concentrate on your dc

PossumInAPearTree · 14/12/2016 22:04

Why are you prioritising a shouty, aggressive arsehole over your kids?

mineofuselessinformation · 14/12/2016 22:06

Fwiw, I'll put my twopennoth's worth in....
I'm divorced, and still single. If I were to be in a relationship, when it was time for my children to meet my new partner, we would come as a package. If that didn't work out, I would give it up - no question.

NotAnotherUserName1234 · 14/12/2016 22:16

Are you male in SS relationship OP?

DeepanKrispanEven · 14/12/2016 22:19

I take it you've asked him why he does this? What does he say?

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clumsyduck · 14/12/2016 22:20

I would t take the time to care why
Boone would stop me having a relationship with my kids . End of

Lynnm63 · 14/12/2016 22:20

There is no way on earth any man would stop me from spending time with my DC.

clumsyduck · 14/12/2016 22:20

No one *

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