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Anyone else having a sham Christmas?

(17 Posts)
ManicPixieDream Wed 14-Dec-16 20:39:47

So I've finally decided it is time for us to break up once and for all. He's been abusive for years but blames it on depression / alcohol. I've had enough and it's over. My eldest is relieved. My youngest is unaware. We are having one last Christmas together before he moves to his Mum's house.

Is anyone else in the same situation? Has anyone done this previously? Any advice?

qwertyuiopasdfghjkl Wed 14-Dec-16 20:45:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Autumnchill Wed 14-Dec-16 20:58:53

I'm not but friends are. I hope they find happiness in 2017 whether that's together or apart.

QuarterMileAtATime Wed 14-Dec-16 21:59:00

I'm having a particularly celebratory Xmas - Decree date is December 19th fgrin

QuarterMileAtATime Wed 14-Dec-16 22:02:35

Sorry, my advice would be obvious - to keep it as amicable as you can. Ignore any usual triggers if you can help it; I found it easier not to take the bait into arguments once the decision was made and accepted I can't 'fix' him flowers

CookingCabbage Wed 14-Dec-16 22:03:21

Christmas = alcohol. If he is abusive after drinking, is one last Christmas together a good idea? Would it be happier without him? If your daughter is relieved, he may think so. My Dad was the same, and I used to wish my mum would just leave him. Every Christmas was miserable.

RedStripeIassie Wed 14-Dec-16 22:03:32

I was but no!!! Everyone knows we've broken up and I don't have to do any pretending things are ok. Good luck for the new year.

MissWillaCather Wed 14-Dec-16 22:03:39

H saying we should, I'm saying no. Want split beforehand, can't pretend. Good luck

Donatello68 Wed 14-Dec-16 23:31:50

Quarter - my absolute is also due any day!!! 😀Whoop!!! This Christmas will be a million miles better than last year.

ManicPixieDream Thu 15-Dec-16 15:32:12

Thank you. I'm not rising to the bait any more. He's not drinking at the moment and if I feel in any way threatened or intimidated I will phone the police / my friend who is on standby. He is saying I am an emotionless robot who is about to blow our family apart. I know this is the right thing to do. I've given him a year and things have not changed enough. Good luck for the future for anyone else going through this. Thanks for the advice. flowers

Perp Thu 15-Dec-16 16:01:58

Me, we have young kids so have decided to keep it up until after Christmas.
I so sorely wish it was any other time of year so I can be done with it.

I'm struggling like hell not to throw him out though.

ManicPixieDream Thu 15-Dec-16 16:50:57

I hear you Perp, it's so hard isn't it? I just want it to be over too.

Hang in there flowers

Crispsheets Thu 15-Dec-16 16:55:15

I had this a couple of years ago. We decided to tell children after Xmas but because of his bizarre behaviour the kids found out on Xmas day.T he kids and I laugh about it now....they werent traumatised and it got everything in the open. We were divorced 6 weeks later .
And how good life is now.

ManicPixieDream Thu 15-Dec-16 17:32:27

That's what I need to hear Crisps. Thanks. How old were your kids at the time?

Summerlovinf Thu 15-Dec-16 17:41:01

I was holding out for one more Xmas but only made it until bonfire night (2011)...it's going to be a turmoil whenever you do it - but you'll all come through it

Crispsheets Thu 15-Dec-16 17:49:27

They were 15 and 17

ManicPixieDream Sat 17-Dec-16 16:05:45

A bit older than mine. I've got no idea how they are going to be. STBXH seems to be giving a consistent message though and is being supportive for once. It makes it more confusing and annoying that we couldn't work like this before. confused

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