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how much do you 'pursue' frienships?

(5 Posts)
maggiethemagpie Wed 14-Dec-16 19:06:39

I always seem to be the one trying to organise things/invite people/make things happen although I am trying not to put in too much effort if its not reciprocated.

But is it normal to pursue friendships a little?

I do have friends, I think they are genuine friends and we have good time when we do meet up but they can seem very busy and it always seems to be me who's pursuing them a little and I get a bit frustrated if they are too busy to meet up when I'm trying to put the effort into organising things socially. (They mainly have young families and work so I know this can make weekends very precious. I have a young family and work myself, but I have a very good work life balance as my husband is a SAHD.)

I'm just interested if it is normal to feel like this or should there be more of a balance? Am I being needy? I am worried if I do not make the effort socially I wont' see my friends for months on end.. but then again is this self perpetuating as I've put myself in the role of the one to make contact?

EngTech Tue 20-Dec-16 23:13:01

Experience has taught me that if you have made the effort to try and get to know someone better but they are always "busy" there comes a point when you cut your losses and stop chasing as it were.

That time can then be spent on something more productive.

You also find out who your true friends are when you need help, big time.

True friends appear without asking and do what they can for you and ask for nothing in return

Cricrichan Tue 20-Dec-16 23:16:09

I find that a lot of the time it falls to the same people to organise things and sometimes it can be a bit frustrating for the organiser.

Stickytoffeepuddings Tue 20-Dec-16 23:26:08

I think some people are just more organised, think ahead, and better at planning, there is also a confidence thing, I feel some of my friends are less self confident so don't 'dare' organise things incase no one wants to do it, in my circle of friends there are really only a couple of others that initiate and organise, thought the ones that don't are always grateful to the ones that do if that makes any sense!

Haggisfish Tue 20-Dec-16 23:27:50

I'm the organiser a lot of the time. I think my friends just expect it if me now. I don't mind-I know they are good friends and love them to bits!

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