Is there anyone in a happy relationship?

[movingforward2016]

Sorry I am in a happy relationship for the first time in my life I have found someone I love, respect and like as a person! I also trust him which I have never trusted anyone before.

We are moving in together in the next couple of months and I am very happy and looking forward to the future.

What I'm wondering is there anyone still happy and in love with a healthy sex life many years on after the relationship has started?

On mumsnet in the relationships section there is mostly people unhappy in their relationships, I guess that because the people that are happy are don't have any problems to post about.

But it seems to me most couples I know are quite unhappy bar a few and I would love to hear stories about others that are happy in their long term relationships

[NotStoppedAllDay]

We are! 13 years on

And I had4 DC when I met him... all teens now but he's still here and we are happy!

[ShesAStar]

DH and I are still very much in love, been together 12 years, married for 8 with two DC. Still love and fancy each other, fab sex life. He is my best friend.

[OutnumberedByFurchesters]

Yes! 8 years and counting... :)

[Pallisers]

24 years married. We are really nice to each other. kind, still laugh together. Rarely fight (worst fights were about the US invasion of Iraq believe it or not), good sex life. We've had our ups and downs - family troubles, issues with our kids, deaths etc but through it all we are friends and a support to each other and we really enjoy spending time together.

I often think on the relationships threads that a lot of people don't actually know what a happy relationship looks like. My parents were happy together (not perfect by any means but in love and interested in each other, found each other funny and respected each other over a 50 year marriage). I think they gave me a great gift of knowing what happy looks like (so I never put up with shit masquerading as happy - neither did my sister).

I thought long and hard about my husband before I married him. The best advice my mum gave me was to question whether I could live with his faults - not his good points. Also not to marry a mean or a jealous man. Too often on here I read things like "I love Dh and he is a brilliant husband and father but to be honest he has always had a bad temper/drank a lot/liked attention from women/not thought much of my family/did nothing in the house - take your pick. Those things matter and at the beginning of a relationship you should be careful/wary and think about what you are seeing in your partner. 0

OP I wish you a lovely long relationship with this man.

[AgainPlease]

Only 3 years here but moved in after 4 months. Still over the moon happy to the point it's almost gross. We always end phone calls with 'I love you' or when one of us is leaving the house to go to work or run an errand. We end every text message with 3 x's - even if it's just "ok xxx". I trust him with my life. He is my world, my rock.

Good luck!

[AgainPlease]

pallisers exactly! I don't think a lot of people know what a happy relationship looks like. A lot of people settle.

[Quietwhenreading]

We've been together since we were 15. Been married nearly 20 years.

Still very happy.

[TheGrandTourOfMyArse]

We've been together nearly 9 years, married for nearly 4, and are still happy. Dh would love to have more sex (currently averaging about once a fortnight) but other than that there are no problems. We have two young children and no money so lots of things that could potentially cause arguments but we rarely do.

We text pretty much every day, still give each other a kiss goodbye or a kiss goodnight. We still say, "Love you," at random points through the day. We write each other silly or sloppy messages in the steam on the bathroom mirror after a shower. We still take sneaky days off work when the dc are at school/nursery and spend the day together - last week we went to a Christmas market and then had a burger and a wander around the shops whilst holding hands. It was lovely, just the two of us. We'd been looking forward to it for days beforehand.

He does my tits in at times and I do sometimes fantasise about living alone, usually when I'm trying to find a hiding place for yet mite clutter or when I'm up in the night unable to sleep due to him breathing, but overall I don't think I could be happier.

[KoolKoala07]

Been together 8 years this week. We married in October. We couldn't be happier with one another. For me getting married was something I've always wanted and It's really been the icing on the cake. I feel incredibly settled and so excited for what the future holds. That's not to say we have our ups and downs - who doesn't!?

[reindeerbitesback]

Not a long term relationship, but I've never been happier. We've been seeing each other for 3 years, moved in with each other last month, are getting married between xmas and new year and I'm due 19th June. Things aren't perfect, but I am blissfully content with my relationship. I've been on cloud nine virtually since we met. We took things slowly as we both have DC from previous relationships, which has probably been the hardest part - waking up to him in the morning is such a blessing, as is carrying his children. Sex isn't as frequent as either of us would like, but when you have 4 children aged 5-7, you don't get much privacy so we accept it.

My parents didn't have a happy marriage, they love each other but didn't connect deeply as they grew older. They grew up next door to each other in a rural village and shared the same kind of life goals, but spent a lot of time travelling separately for work which wasn't really much of a marriage at all. I learnt what a happy relationship was from my parents second marriages. Both couples fit together like jigsaw pieces and taught me about compromise and trust in a way that I didn't understand before. Seeing other people happy gives me such joy.

I'm happy to hear about your happy relationship btw, OP! I went through some crappy ones before I found my OH.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Almost ten years here and very happy. I moved countries for him so he'd better make me happy

[maras2]

We're happy. Together for nearly 50 years and married for 42.
The only reason for being awake now is that DH.was looking after DCS's till midnight then when he came home we had our usual night time chat,kiss and cuddle .He's post coitaly snoring and dribbling and I'm just about to fall asleep (and probably snore and dribble)We may have a repeat performance in a few hours time.One of the benefits of being retired.

[Quietwhenreading]

Maras you're an inspiration to us all!

[AverageJosephine]

Maras, I'm impressed!

We have so many positives in our life and relationship and a few negatives but I've never felt a single moment that I didn't want to be with him. Our biggest problem is his work keeps him busy 24/7 and the stress and low mood that comes with that. I wish I could help him more.

[ChopsticksandChilliCrab]

Wow Maras!

Married 26 years, together 32 years. I can't speak for DH but I am very happy indeed. Feel very fortunate.

[TheNaze73]

Fabulous post OP

We read about some terrible relationships on here & some utterly vile men & women. Lovely to readdress the balance a bit.

[movingforward2016]

Thank you all for the replies so happy to hear that lots of you are indeed happy many years on.

My parents had a horrible relationship and I then had a few horrible ones. But the man I am with now I knew before we got together as he is a friend of my family, we just clicked so quickly and he is now like my best friend. He understands me like no one has before and he is very kind and great with my dd. We are both so in love and as another poster said sometimes to the point where it's sickly! I have found myself being very sweet and very loved up which I don't normally do, and even making lovely personalized gifts for him

We chat for hours and never get bored of each other and as we are long distance at the moment we count down the days until we can see each other. He's not perfect and neither am I but I feel we are perfect for each other.

Anytime I have met men before their imperfections would put me off and make me want to break up. With my boyfriend I can look at him and think that's annoying but I still love you! I guess that's what true love is, so even though I have thought I was in love a few times before now I'm with him I don't think those other ones were true love atall!

[growapear]

yes - 16 years and 3 kids here,

[Unicorn1981]

Yes! We got together when I was 21 and he was 18 and we're still very happy and in love after 14 years and a 3yo dd. We've travelled together, moved cities together and grown up together and although we have had our ups and downs we are still very happy. I fancy him like mad and we still have a good regular sex life.

[Shakey15000]

Slightly different but maybe "inspirational"-

Married 16years, with a 9yr old DS and still very much in love without a sex life. DH has a chronic condition and I have prolapses. We laugh together, spend quality time together and enjoy each others company. Goes without saying we support each other unconditionally. We've had some very testing times the last three years but have realised that sex isn't everything for us and we're both grateful for each other.

[AndNoneForGretchenWieners]

I'm happy. We have been together for 17 years, married 15. We still say love you every day and text each other throughout the day, less if we are busy at work but if we have a free moment we have a chat. The key to longevity is compromise, give and take, trust and a good sense of humour (because how else would you put up with the other snoring like a warthog without smothering him with a pillow?). Both of us had parents with long happy marriages and I don't know if that makes a difference- he was married before but his wife ended it.

[PuellaEstCornelia]

Yes, 24 years and counting. You don't hear about happy relationships on this thread because people don't ask for advice when it's all going well!

[KitNeutron]

Yes, only 8 years here but very happy. Sometimes ecstatically happy, sometimes a small secret smile as he brings me a drink without me having to ask, that this is the man I married. I never thought it was possible to be this happy, and I will be honest I have cheated in the past because I've been unhappy. But I've never felt the urge/need with dh. All I want is him.
Right now he's getting the children ready for school whilst I lounge in bed, he isn't stressing about it and he won't expect me to "make it up to him" at any point, because he knows it's his "job" as much as it is mine. He's a keeper.

[JeepersMcoy]

Dh and I have been together almost 10 years. We are still gooey and slightly vomit inducing. We rarely argue and when we do you can tell that we both want to solve it and think about what we can do to compromise for the other person rather then just winning the fight.

We have been through some really tough times together and dh had always been a steady, caring rock (he has a super power of being able to say exactly the right thing in incredibly stressful situations). I knew he was a keeper when I found out my mother was diagnosed with cancer a few hours before our first date. When i told him he just sat me down, got me a drink and told me I was going to be OK. I was amazed he didn't run a mile to be honest :)

Our sex life has had ups and downs, which I think is normal for a long relationship that had included having children and suffering bereavement. We have always respected each other in these situations. I never once felt pressured when I didn't want sex after a difficult birth and this helped me to try again knowing thay dh only wanted me to be happy. The key for me has been that even when we haven't had sex we have maintained a lot of physical intimacy. We hug and kiss and touch a lot. We regularly tell each other they are gorgeous and sexy and we love them.

We have also worked hard to ensure equality. We share childcare and housework. If something comes up we talk about it and compromise. We do these things not because someone nags or will throw a strop, we do it because we care about each other.

Too often I hear about partners who don't look after their children or won't cook or do the housework. To me this shows that fundamentally they do not care about their partner. If you love someone you don't make them miserable by leaving them to pick up the stuff you don't want to do. Of you love someone you help them pick up the shit and share the unpleasantness as much as the good stuff.

[Nicknameofawesome]

Yes. 16 years together, married for 13. We've had grief, money problems, failed business, chronic illness, mental heath issues to deal with but still going strong.

I agree that so many people do think they can change someone. My divorced parents for example. My mum was the OW (although she had no idea until she was in very deep.) they got married, had two kids then surprise he left her for ow... (although to be fair he is on 30 years and counting with her)