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Dating thread 111- just waiting...

(1000 Posts)
Evilwater Tue 06-Dec-16 20:07:16

I know these threads have come in handy for many dipping their toes for the first time into OLD. So here we are again ... another 1000 posts down:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will.
12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)
13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.

lastnicknamefree Tue 06-Dec-16 20:33:06

Well done evil I was looking for you guys today! How is everyone? Any updates?

lettucesoup Tue 06-Dec-16 20:37:26

Hi I have been OLD for some time without much luck.Have also been lurking on here. Currently using Oasis Dating...think I may have to look elsewhere. Today I got a 1st message from an older bearded guy - "Hello, are you horny?" May I join in?

lettucesoup Tue 06-Dec-16 20:38:45

What I meant was can I join in on this chat....rather than with bearded guy!!!

rememberthetime Tue 06-Dec-16 20:44:42

Yuk - what do they expect to get from those messages?

I am still having second thoughts about my first date this weekend. I chatted to him online and all was good. Chatted on the phone and he was stilted and kind of boring.

My friend pointed out to me that my job involves making people feel relaxed over the phone and making conversation with strangers and not everyone has that ability. I know - but i don't want it to be hard work.

Yet he has been amazing in print. Very open and honest. Even a little flirty - but not in a gross way. I guess I have to meet him.

Up thread someone said trust my gut. My gut is all over the place...

Arkkorox Tue 06-Dec-16 20:47:13

Oh phew I was wondering where you lot went!

If someone favourites your profile what does it actually mean!?

Arkkorox Tue 06-Dec-16 20:47:53

I hope pringle is okay sad

lastnicknamefree Tue 06-Dec-16 20:50:29

Myself if anyone remembers mrunsuitable (probably not!) a few weeks ago, we had one date which was great and even though he was totally unsuitable I really enjoyed meeting him and there was awesome kissing after...
. But then he went quiet after the date, I sent him a stroppy message and we kind of fell out. I ignored his last because of his slownfading me and did it back. Sorry that's probably confusing! Anyway he sent me another message Sunday out of the blue and we've got chatting again. He's still bloody totallyunsuitable but I'm seeing him again Thursday hmm
Must be mad, nothing good will come of it but I'm not under any illusions that it will go anywhere so if I can stay out of the over investors corner I'll he

Crazycat1980 Tue 06-Dec-16 20:52:49

Well done for new thread Evil

Arghhh that email from OKC with my ex as a match has totally messed me up. Especially him saying he 'loves life but is looking. For someone to share the journey with'. He told me he didn't want to be in a relationship, that we wanted different things. All total lies. I feel used - chewed up and spat out. And as for using our holiday pic.... no words.

Really like Me Tinder who is LOVELY but this has set me back months

Crazycat1980 Tue 06-Dec-16 20:54:21

I want to troll him or send him and angry email.

Talk sense to me ladies shock

rememberthetime Tue 06-Dec-16 21:17:39

Give it a few days crazy. The pain will lessen in time and it won't feel like such a big deal. Right now is not the right time to make any moves that might make you look like the bad one.

pringlecat Tue 06-Dec-16 22:43:09

Thanks, Arkkorox. I went out with someone this evening who, TBH, I don't actually know that well, because I knew she'd had some bad experiences with OLD and would listen. I bawled my eyes out at her. You know, we can be horribly bitchy to each other, but when women just support each other without any hesitation, it's a very special thing. I feel a lot better now for the tears and cuddles. You lot have also been very kind and it has helped tremendously. I'm just broken.

Re favouriting, sometimes it's an attempt to get you to message them. Sometimes it's a bookmark and they will come back later and message you.

lastnicknamefree If you can not emotionally invest, you are a better person than I am. I really do think it's a life skill.

Crazycat1980 Stay strong. I know it's easier said than done - says the woman still crying as she writes this - but you know you're better than this. You do. Deep down. Messaging him won't bring you any comfort or explanation that you can reconcile in your head, it will just draw out that pain and confusion even more. Leave the wound alone to scab over.

Welcome, lettucesoup!

rememberthetime It's a first date. It's barely a date. Go for it and see how you feel.

Bant Tue 06-Dec-16 22:50:58


I think this may actually be my hundredth dating thread. I joined round about thread 11 or so - maybe later. Something like that.

Maybe I should get a special badge

I had a date tonight. It was good. I'll see her again

pringlecat Tue 06-Dec-16 22:54:35

Hi Bant, wow I didn't realise you had been around so long! Good to hear something positive re your date. smile

Shodan Tue 06-Dec-16 22:58:31

Hi again <newbie from the last 10 messages on the last thread>

I'm sorry you're both feeling blue, pringlecat . I hope you feel more positive soon- some blokes are just utter dicks and don't deserve you.

As far as my dabble with OLD goes- well, I have no expectations, really. Something about the whole online thing makes me feel a bit removed, so it makes it easier, I think.

Having said that- I mentioned the v. good-looking, hones, lovely-but-maybe-a-bit-intense chap. I was completely honest in return with him and didn't really expect to hear more from him-but he asked me if I was on Viber. I had to Google it grin cos I didn't know what it was ( I'm such an old fart). I assume, from the description, that it's just like WhatsApp. Which means, I suppose, that he wants to carry on chatting.

I've had a few messages saying things like 'Cor! Your (sic) a turn on', which I blocked straightaway (although was strongly tempted to correct their grammar for them grin)

And two other men who were excruciatingly difficult to chat to, so I stopped.

Unrequitedlove Tue 06-Dec-16 23:24:17

I'm new to OLD and just read the rules here! I overshared and overinvested too quickly. He invited me on a date and backed out TWICE angry

faffalotty Wed 07-Dec-16 10:09:52

Hello all

Pringle flowers sorry you are still hurting

I now have no irons. They've all stopped chatting. All I'm getting are messages from weird types and potential spammers. is there a seasonal lull?

loobyloo1234 Wed 07-Dec-16 10:38:26

Hi all
Just checking in on the new thread. I have a couple of OLD irons. Nothing major though. Will keep you updated

Are you ok pringle ? I'll go back to old thread to see whats been going on (I'm about 10 pages behind)

loobyloo1234 Wed 07-Dec-16 11:51:09

Right pringle just read your update

Firstly – what an absolute TWUNT
Secondly – this is not about you. This is about him. I am going to be brutal now but stay with me. He was only ever after mooseburgers. There is NO WAY he wanted a long term relationship. No one sane, would throw away a long term relationship just because they didn’t get sex after 2 dates. Pathetic man child
Thirdly – do not give up on OLD. You had a bad egg, a really bad egg, with this one. Mr Two is a cunt – apologies for my language. It pisses me off though. You seem lovely, he doesn’t deserve you flowers

Ladies/Gents - you really have to take the 'do not get too invested' advice seriously. No broken hearts should be around after 2/3 dates. I know its easier said than done but you need to protect your heart

BernieBear Wed 07-Dec-16 11:59:26

Hi all - I joined towards the end of the thread.

Well said looby, I made the mistake last year of overinvesting too early on. It completely screws with your mind when it doesn't work out the way you thought it would.

My potential first date was messaging again last night, and we're still on for Sunday which is good. We were just meeting for coffee, but looks like Sunday lunch as we're both fans of yorkshire puds grin

Arkkorox Wed 07-Dec-16 12:19:44

Second everything that looby said. We're going to come across colossal twunts on OLD, you just weeded one out!

Can I put on my profile ' yes I know I'm tall, the weather is fine up here, please don't message just to say ' wow - you're tall!' hmm

Buymeamojitonow Wed 07-Dec-16 13:48:07

Omg , I'm raging ,
guy who used me for one night then disappeared altogether has changed his profile to - wear my heart on my sleeve - your bloody joking mate .

Why doesn't dating sites not have reviews like trip advisor and shops - we could warn other women about these players !!!

Pisssssedofff Wed 07-Dec-16 13:54:45

Ha ha I've been saying that for years, there should be a star rating system

Bant Wed 07-Dec-16 16:02:12

The point of online dating sites isn't to actually pair people up with each other though. If they do that, if they allow customers to actually avoid the arseholes and find someone great and settle down, then they lose a customer.

Their business model is to keep people coming back, month in, month out, to keep giving them hope, and make subscription or advertising revenue in the meantime.

Some people get lucky, most don't.

loobyloo1234 Wed 07-Dec-16 17:07:49

there should be a star rating system

Ouch, I think we'd all be a little more depressed if someone rated us a 1* sad

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