Some of the best advice I ever got was that "You don't have to like everybody and it's ok not to" - I absolutely stand by that. I don't mean that it's ok to snap-judge someone or to take out your own problems on well-meaning people, and I never do drama.
I just mean: if you have a friend who's more like an acquaintance and she actually irritates you - you don't necessarily have to spend time with her.
If your parents-in-law are kind of unfeeling and you get the impression they do you down: let your partner bear the brunt of visiting them with the kids. They are more his responsibility than yours.
If you're going away with a bunch of people and you dislike one of them intensely but can't say anything: finding a way not to go is not the worst thing in the world. Even if you lose money because you didn't realise what was going on until it was too late. White lies are fine and people can cope with an absence far better than they might let on.
One example I'm proud of is that in my industry there are a few old misogynists who I frankly refuse to work with (this is to their detriment btw, without giving anything away). People get themselves tied up in knots about this stuff. It's really very simple: if you are not treated with respect, do not go out of your way for people.
I'm not saying I lie my head off - I very, very rarely lie, in fact, but I cultivate a busy life and always have a lot of work on. I spend a lot of good time with my family and friends and my relationship with my in-laws has changed beyond recognition for the better.
This is a totally self-centred post - I just want to pass the advice on because I didn't get it until I was about 38 and it's changed my life!
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Relationships
I try not to spend time with people I dislike (or who dislike me!)
Myrobalanna · 05/12/2016 13:41
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