My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Just discovered DW has been cheating on me

66 replies

SleepingTiger · 30/11/2016 19:00

All I said a few weeks ago was I prefer healthier food to chocolate these days. Of course, DW thinks I am talking out of my American ass.

Go to have one of my Ferrero Rocher's and they have all been eaten and replaced with mini falafels, carefully wrapped back up in the gold foil.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Report
Patriciathestripper1 · 30/11/2016 19:02

Give them to her for Christmas wrapped in a big bow Grin

Report
SleepingTiger · 30/11/2016 19:03

That's assuming she makes it to Christmas Patricia.

OP posts:
Report
amysmummy12345 · 30/11/2016 19:05

This means war.... Pranking of the highest level is in order Grin

Report
FetchezLaVache · 30/11/2016 19:07

Your DW is a genius!! Grin

Report
wherearemymarbles · 30/11/2016 21:54

She sounds fab. I'll take her, and swap you mine.

She is also good a moving furniture and painting the house so i'll want paying. I am very partial to mini twiz and charbonel champagne truffles Smile

Report
Noctilucent · 30/11/2016 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SleepingTiger · 30/11/2016 22:01

Yes Marbles but sadly mine developed the house, organised the builders, painted it, designed, bought the furniture, installed it, painted the house again, mixed the concrete herself, laid the floor in the outbuildings, then went and bought a dress in the knock down sale for £10 and looks a million dollars in it.

So not for sale or swapping.

But I will swap you my, ahem, Ferrari Rochels, for your Charbonel's?

OP posts:
Report
SleepingTiger · 30/11/2016 22:02

Whoa......just realised what you meant!

You're swingers aren't you...! Shock

OP posts:
Report
Ineedmorelemonpledge · 30/11/2016 22:17

Stay sweet and calm for 24 more days...and then present chocolate covered Brüssel sprouts on the 25th. Disguised as a box Dairy milk.

The piece of paper with the flavour assortment printed on it should be swapped for Divorce papers...

Practise your cockney accent and upon opening the chocs shout..."I'm leaving yer, you caaaaaahhhhh!

Cue Eastenders theme...

Report
Tenshidarkangel · 01/12/2016 09:32

This is brilliant.

Totally agree with pp on the sprouts in chocolate.

I would also look at joke divorce papers on the grounds of chocolate hording and swapping. A nice pre Christmas present.

Report
wherearemymarbles · 01/12/2016 09:53

Now idea where you got the swinging reference from!!

Of course the absolute best revenge would be to buy her American chocolate... Smile

Report
throughgrittedteeth · 01/12/2016 13:08

This has cracked me up today. Xmas Grin

Report
Allthebestnamesareused · 01/12/2016 13:13

Of course the absolute best revenge would be to buy her American chocolate...


This ^^^^
Grin Grin Grin

Report
Tenshidarkangel · 01/12/2016 14:15

Or...

And Idea for next year...
Sprout Advent Calendar

Report
FleshEmoji · 01/12/2016 15:05

Get these. Suggest re-packaging so the fact there are 6 nasty ones is not apparent until tasting.

www.amazon.co.uk/Festive-Chocolate-Sprout-Roulette-Game/dp/B01LW4ZM10?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Report
SleepingTiger · 01/12/2016 20:21

So, this weekend my options for revenge are;

  1. Replace the falafels with proper Ferrero Rocher's enjoy them in front of her and pretend it never happened and see how she reacts. I can be a good actor when I want to be Smile .


  1. Say "Hey, a new healthy type of confectionary" bite into one and collapse on the floor convulsing, pretending I am allergic to chick peas.


  1. Get my friend, a solicitor, to pen a letter on their letterhead dated tomorrow defining "Unreasonable Behaviour" as per some Matrimonial Act citing some fake Cases dealing with such pranks, and leave the letter lying around on the kitchen side tomorrow night. Said friend would even pop round for a drink at 7pm which would add to the authentication.


Votes please !!! Xmas Grin
OP posts:
Report
OnePlanOnHouzz · 01/12/2016 20:47

I vote no.1

Report
SweetChickadee · 01/12/2016 20:50

3.

deffo Grin

Report
dementedma · 01/12/2016 20:54

2!

Report
amysmummy12345 · 01/12/2016 21:06

2! Video though or it didn't happen 😁

Report
SleepingTiger · 01/12/2016 21:21

First one to 10 votes gets it.
Promise I will come back and post over the weekend, but no video. That would be too identifying how do I do that and upload that I am no geek just a dinosaur

OP posts:
Report
Jiggl · 01/12/2016 21:29

Send her a Janet and Roy christmas card?

Or 3. I like elaborate pranks. I've a great one lined up for my mum.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

PebbleTTC · 01/12/2016 21:32

1

Report
Itssosunny · 01/12/2016 21:44

Vote 1. I would also offer some to her and watch her face. Grin

Report
Believeitornot · 01/12/2016 22:20

1

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.