BF wants me to feel the force but I want to feel Andy Carroll

[Onthebl0b]

I'm new so I don't know how this works or how to say this.

My boyfriend and I have a good relationship but there are times when I'mm lying in bed and he enters donned in a Darth Vader outfit with mask and yelling me to grab his light saber. He refuses to answer to anything other than "Lord Vader" and keeps shouting "I am your father!" as he's mounting me.

I wouldn't mind but the only way I can get in the mood is by thinking of the footballer Andy Carroll. I never want sex anymore with that black mask and heavy breathing bearing down on me, but find it works if I think about Andy and his ponytail. I've never met him but can't help having sexy, embarrassingly wet dreams about him and I'm worried it will affect how I feel about my boyfriend.

What should I do?

[PresidentOliviaMumsnet]

Do or do not.
There is no try.

[Crankycunt]

Get a better hobby.

[EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard]

Take more water with it is my advice!

[flightywoman]

Cosplay is all the rage these days...

[BusterTheBulldog]

Do have a soft spot for andy myself. Wish he'd cut his hair though.

[elQuintoConyo]

Stick his lightsaber up his arse?

Don't shave for a few weeks so you look like a wookie?

Tell him to fuck off?

[PickAChew]

Tell him to fuck of and tend to his own lightsaber.

[Onthebl0b]

Should I buy him a stick on ponytail then?

[Gardencentregroupie]

PresidentOlivia I luffs you

[RJnomore1]

This isn't going to last long is it?!

[acornsandnuts]

Wear a chewbacca costume and scream wooky at him. That's what I do when I find myself in the exact same situation.

[DramaAlpaca]

PresidentOlivia

[EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard]

Stick on ponytail = Rodney from Only Fools and Horses, but you could call him Dave for role play HTH.

[Gardencentregroupie]

If you get him a stick on ponytail he'll only pretend to be Anakin Skywalker and frankly he's more attractive as Darth

[treaclesoda]

I knew there was something missing in my life. I've never had a man try to have sex with me whilst dressed as Darth Vader.

Am I missing out?

[NatalieRushman]

I'd be a little worried. The fact that he''s saying "I am your father" means he could be mistaking you for his son. That is not the kind of hanky panky I would want to be going on in my bedroom.

[mineofuselessinformation]

Very good. 9 / 10.

[mineofuselessinformation]

P.S. Good on you PresidentOlivia.

[CRad]

Isn't this the pirate thread all over again?

[MrsArthurShappey]

Olivia 😂

[TheNaze73]

All Andy Carroll would do, is role about on the floor injured.

When wearing the mask, has he made you cross to the dark side?

[AndTheBandPlayedOn]

Tell him you want a ride in his Death Star first.

[CoughingForWeeks]

TheNaze Best laugh I've had all day, and I've just come from the FB tat thread :)