I'm new, hi :) Just had a baby daughter and also have a almost 3 year old boy. My partner and I have been together for 14 years (since we were 15 and 17) 5 years ago we grew apart, he went out drinking Friday - Monday, we literally just lived together. I started chatting to someone (started as friends, just someone to chat to really) I realised things weren't going to get better with my bf so I split with him and moved back to my parents. me and the other guy met now and again and kissing and oral happened, something I feel disgusted in now! Nothing happened when I was with my bf though. Anyway. We ended up getting back together because he started to actually be the guy I knew before and I love him so knew it was what I wanted. Fast forward to now and he's always gone on about how I cheated on him and this morning he had another dream about me cheating so at 4am whilst doing my night feed, he turned to me and asked if he can trust me, this turned into a argument about the past and starred questioning me about what happened and to swear on our kids lives that nothing more than meeting up happened. I couldn't do this because we kissed and oral once. This obviously made him really upset, calling me slag etc and has said he's moving out tonight and will see kids on evenings and weekends. He's said he wouldn't go on if it wasn't for the kids. I feel absolutely heartbroken that I have caused this much hurt and hate myself for hurting him. He won't listen to the fact we weren't together and I know it's no justification but he split from me numerous times and slept with other girls! I thought that us having children, building a home together would prove that I want to be a family with him and for years I've saud about getting married but he's been hesitant and I guess this is why. I've suggested counciling but don't think he'll come. Please has anyone been in this situation and been able to get their partners to trust them again or trusted your partner? Any suggestions or advice on how we can move forward and rebuild this?
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