I am the eldest in a large family and left home quite young and have always been very independent. On the one hand my mother is proud of this but on the other it sort of irritates her, but I've kind of let it go.
I've noticed however, that's she's only really kind of "caring" if I show vulnerability, which I generally don't do. I started as a very young girl, hiding when my period was, because my mum kind of weirded me out about it by being suddenly all pitying.
Anyway fast forward to my late 30s and horrible though it is to say, she gets v weird if I'm upset or tearful. (Again this is rare for me.) For example I was a witness to a horrible accident. She knew about it obviously, and I talked it all through with my husband and had counselling. But she would push and push till I cried and then say "I am so glad you could open up like that, it's good to cry." I remember thinking "good for who???" I had done my crying and didn't want to rake it over, but she just carried on.
She's done the same with other things over the years, and seems to thrive on being able to try to swoop in, when really it would be more supportive if she didn't make me cry in the first place!
I'm not explaining this well, but does anyone understand?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Why does my mother do this?
19 replies
Santaseasonalfireplace · 29/11/2016 12:01
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.