Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How to take a compliment?

(9 Posts)
lizzieoak Tue 29-Nov-16 03:42:54

Since acquiring middle-age status I have not had much practice at this. When I was younger and men I didn't fancy would compliment me on my looks I'd be sort of "ya, thanks" in a bored move-along tone. It was not intentional. Now I'd likely blush furiously and be dumb-struck. Or defer to blaming my outfit for looking presentable.

But today, someone I fancy a bit said about my DS that he (Mr Fanciable) was not surprised DS is so smart "as the apple doesn't fall far from the tree".

Well, it's dawned on me in recent years that I am clever and don't feel inclined to be mincing and coy about it. So I said "that's true".

Mr F repeated what I'd said and looked amused and either surprised or enchanted (difficult to tell w him, when he's happy he could be on the Olympic beaming team).

But I did slightly think that I'm meant to pretend I have no idea what he meant - & I can't be bothered.

He is very intelligent and probably more well-read than me (or more deeply, I tend to flit all over).

So how does one receive a compliment without just saying "thank you"? We were having repartee so "thank you" seems a bit flat? And it surprised me, being as it was in the middle of a shop & he was doing full-on twinkling at me.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 29-Nov-16 04:16:16

I'd say "oh thank you. You've made my day. You're not too shabby yourself" and twinkle back at him.

I.e. I'd accept it gladly and try and compliment back.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 29-Nov-16 04:46:31

I like men who look as if they're on the Olympic beamng team when they're happy. grin

If a similar compliment was paid to me during a repartee session with a fanciable guy who was twinklng at me, I'd smilingly say "Are you always this perceptive?" and twinkle back.

In a non-repartee/twinkling scenario I'd say something on the lines of "That's a lovely compliment and I greatly appreciate it" while making a mental note to find something to compliment them on at a later date.

Joinourclub Tue 29-Nov-16 05:37:05

I could never say 'why thank you for the compliment', so awkward! I'd probably have said 'yeah my brains but my husbands looks thank god haha' as I'm not too good At accepting compliments and have to follow them up with something negative.

lizzieoak Tue 29-Nov-16 05:46:19

Joinourclub, in this case that wouldn't work as DS looks like it was an immaculate conception: he looks entirely like a male version of me (or my side of the family at any rate).

Bitout & goddess, you're brilliant!! I am soooo out of practice w these things. I am well nigh invisible, though a reasonable specimen I think. But I did feel he was observing me the other day at a community event, so we'll see. I doubt it will go further - he's fairly recently divorced and quite a bit older than me and 1000 reasons I think he wouldn't want it. But it is so very nice to be flirted with a bit and twinkled at. We were talking about chocolate and I said I didn't smoke or drink so had chocolate and he said "oh, that's a shame, everyone should have some area of their life where they're corrupted" & I did have the presence of mind to tell him that I'm deeply corruptible. He had the presence of mind not to look alarmed and flee, but instead stayed there and beamed some more.

May not happen for another ten years, but just in case I now know how to respond!! Thanks so much.

Good lord being single at this age is tricky.

springydaffs Tue 29-Nov-16 06:25:40

Repartee is a bit different though isn't it? You can't get all solemn and sincere.

That deeply corruptible thing says I'm deeply fuckable (or maybe that's me, sex on the brain).

You could compliment back re it takes one to know one. Or an arch why thank you.

How nice to be outrageously flirted with by someone with a nice sharp brain. You lucky thing.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Tue 29-Nov-16 08:21:19

Happy confidence is a wonderfully attractive attribute. Not over-confidence or arrogance, but knowing your strengths and being comfortable with them. It's very un-British, though! We're expected to be self-deprecating. So Mr F was probably pleasantly surprised.

Intelligence and being comfortable with yourself have always done it for me over good looks. Way over good looks!

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Tue 29-Nov-16 08:23:10

instead stayed there and beamed some more

I think you've got a good 'un there. Enjoy. grin

lizzieoak Tue 29-Nov-16 15:39:58

Thanks all. I'm sure it'll come to nowt, but it's nice to be treated as fanciable once in a blue moon. He really does have the most wonderful voice.

I was aiming for alluding to sex (though it was a very quick automatic response, so I haven't lost all of my flirting faculties).

It's depressing never having men see me that way. My Dd saw me talking to him (she's an adult) & said "you're flushed!" which I had to put down to the weather. Damn I hate blushing!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now