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How to be positive when you are completely burnt out!?

(38 Posts)
CakeLover0 Mon 28-Nov-16 20:35:36

I have posted recently about facebook and here I am again. Apologies in advance for moaning. I am (honestly) a positive person, usually anyway. I have had to be I'm on my own with my dc's. You were all so helpful and I really appreciated having a response.
I'm just physically and mentally exhausted!
I don't have anyone irl to turn to.
without harping on....I'm an exhausted single mum hoping to hear of others on how to give yourself a kick up the butt when you have no energy to do so.
ANY advice or words of wisdom would be great right now as I sit here feeling frumpy, puffy, spotty and crying into my wine glass!

BaklavaBalaclava Mon 28-Nov-16 20:45:11

Me too! Am having a dreadful time. Keep crying (even at work).

I'm trying the following things:

Some exercise (yoga off youtube)
Not drinking
Letting myself cry when I need to
Trying to find positive solutions

It's not solved it yet, so don't listen to me! But maybe misery loves company

myfriendnigel Mon 28-Nov-16 20:57:55

Same.
I feel very low at the moment an I can't shake it at all.
I've tried all the stuff I usually do to shake myself a bit, stopped drinking, started walking lots and making sure to get outside for an hour or so a day, worked through my to do lists-but I just feel overwhelmed by everything at the moment and just very tired sad.

ambleside Mon 28-Nov-16 21:10:30

Same here.

CakeLover0 Mon 28-Nov-16 21:16:26

Aww guys! I'm sorry!
I guess on a positive we are not alone.
I always think it's good to recognise when we need a bit of tlc and try to find ways to actually make time for us but.....I'm exhausted.
I don't think my DC's stop arguing.
Then my washing machine decides to cut out the electrics. Ohhhhh give me strength

BaklavaBalaclava Mon 28-Nov-16 21:18:23

I read a terrible book with a great quote

Boredom is the minds scar tissue

Which feels right. Not sure it helps at all! But a cool quote

naturalbaby Mon 28-Nov-16 21:26:24

I ended up going to the Dr saying I'm burnt out. This was after sitting in the kitchen crying because I had to prepare lunch for my kids and I couldn't face it. I need a follow up appointment so not sure what will come out of it but am prepared for medication, hopefully short term.

Talking lots is helping a bit - using facebook support groups, coffee with mum friends and weekly counseling gives me quite a few hours each week!

Mindfulness and positive affirmations has really helped me in the past so I'm trying to get back into the routine - a few minutes every day of positive affirmations, out loud.

Finding an uplifting boxset to watch (the good wife) and a good book to read is my reward for achieving small goals.

CharlotteCollins Mon 28-Nov-16 21:33:37

You don't sound like you need a boot up the behind, you need someone to be kind to you - and that's going to be you. Do anything to make your life easier that you might not normally do: easiest meals possible, give kids small jobs to do that help you feel better. Eat well, go to bed early. Watch TV if it helps, get outside if it helps. flowers Single parenthood can be relentless; hope it feels better soon.

WeirdnessOfDoom Mon 28-Nov-16 21:59:07

Moan away as much as you like.Sometimes things get a bit easier when you get it off your chest,some people might help you see from different (better angle). How old are your kids? Do you ever get any time for yourself?

slightlyinsane Mon 28-Nov-16 22:06:53

Another one on her arse right now.
I must utter the phrase fml at least 20 times a day at the moment.
Just can't seem to find any good in anything.

BaklavaBalaclava Mon 28-Nov-16 22:18:07

Ooh, very long baths and ice cream... That's helping smile Charlotte is right, in the absence of someone to look after us, we have to learn to nurture ourselves...

Cricrichan Mon 28-Nov-16 23:46:04

Hi lovely. Could you outsource any of your chores? Could you afford a cleaner ?

BaklavaBalaclava Tue 29-Nov-16 10:35:04

So. I've decided that my mental funk of hatred and bitterness isn't getting me anywhere. I need to stop myself from resenting people that have fucked me over, because it's not making my life any better holding onto it.

I'm going to try some guided meditation to help me let go of this - because I can't afford therapy, either the time or the money!

I'm also going to splurge on having some heating on for 45 mins and try to do some yoga with Adriene. She can nearly always make me laugh.

How is everyone else in team having a shitty time doing?

myfriendnigel Tue 29-Nov-16 11:17:33

That's what I need to do balaclava.whats guided meditation? And whose Adrienne?!

JaneJeffer Tue 29-Nov-16 11:34:38

I've found recently the mantra "Relax, nothing is under control" to be very helpful!

ems137 Tue 29-Nov-16 11:37:04

Do whatever you can to make your life easier. Things I've used in the past are:

Using disposable plates and cups (no washing up)
Buying pre prepared veg, including mash for healthy meals
Ready meals if you eat those
I rarely iron
Dettol wipes for easy cleaning

Things like that will save you time and energy so you've got more time to do something you enjoy, or even nothing at all!

I've been exhausted this past 2 months after 14 months of bad sleep (baby) and I'm now 9 weeks pregnant, it's completely exhausting me and I think I might start using some of my own tips soon

BaklavaBalaclava Tue 29-Nov-16 13:14:55

Hi Nigel - guided meditation is a thing that generally plays vaguley shit hippy music while talking to you about letting go of harmful/negative emotions.

I find it surprisingly effective, even though I don't really want to.

I just search for guided meditation or sleep hypnosis on youtube - I really like the Honest guys - but play around and find a voice that works for you.

And Adriene is a yoga teacher who just makes doing a little bit of yoga a really fun and self-nurturing thing to do. She says 'you got this' a lot, and that seems to make me feel lots better about myself.

I am amazingly easily led, I'm discovering, writing this..

CakeLover0 Tue 29-Nov-16 15:44:01

Thankyou all so so much. Love the paper plates idea. Seriously going to try this.
I do try and put some chores my dc's way. Sometimes easier to do it myself.
Sorry to those who are have a 'shitty' time right now.
One thing I have learnt doing my training is its OK to not to be OK! I have always thought I jave to be this super happy person. Always blocking out emotions and finding an answer. Alot to do with my upbringing. Sometimes there aren't any answers. Really appreciate support and advice. Sometimes it's having someone to talk to smile

myfriendnigel Tue 29-Nov-16 19:51:17

I will have a look at both-thanks smile

DrowningInPoop Tue 29-Nov-16 21:07:08

I've posted a similar thread in Chat this afternoon, though on paper I should have a great life.

Not sure what the answer is either! Tonight it was Baileys and ice cream.

WeirdnessOfDoom Tue 29-Nov-16 21:27:27

OP,I would say that saying "I'm OK" when I'm not is a very British thing. Nobody in reality likes a tirade of how shit life is when they politely ask "how are you". I say to myself that my kids after years won't remember that the house was spotless but they will remember things we've done leaving mess unattended for a while. I cook every day but refuse to clean the kitchen every evening.I pile the dishes neatly then deal with them when there's more.Same with folding washing. I don't iron. Meals- one night at least with something easy for dinner- either oven dish,scrambled eggs or pancakes. I don't care about mess,my house is lived in,not a museum.I have 2 small kids to look after and ZERO childfree time at home. My friends come to see me not the state of my house.

jeaux90 Tue 29-Nov-16 22:12:36

As a single mum when I feel down I just think of what my daughter will say about me when she's older. She's 7 but I hope it will be that she was happy, that I encouraged her and that she was proud of her mum doing it on her own.

When I feel like crying because of the weight of the responsibility and how tired I feel, that is what I think.

(Coffee, berocca and swimming all keep me sane)

tomatoplantproject Tue 29-Nov-16 22:24:56

I do daily gratitudes every night just before bed - writing down 3 nice things that have happened or that I am grateful for. Its really helped switch my mind and my mood.

BaklavaBalaclava Tue 29-Nov-16 23:16:27

That's a great plan tomato. I think writing them down must make it really effective. Do you manage to do them everyday? Or do you give yourself permission to slack off sometimes?

tomatoplantproject Wed 30-Nov-16 07:08:44

I do it every day without fail. There is always something to be grateful for - even if its very little or you've had a bad day. I had my wisdom tooth out the other day and have been feeling a bit sore and delicate, so some of my gratitudes have been about how the nurses were so kind, we have wonderful painkillers which work, it was done for free on the NHS, etc.

I think its something about going to sleep with positive thoughts which then settle in your head rather than going to sleep dwelling on the bad stuff.

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