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Awful People!

(2 Posts)
charimito Mon 28-Nov-16 10:25:37

So I have "whatsapp friends" - we met through a facebook group and then we chat all the time on whatsapp. Overall I guess they are good people, probably with the best of intentions but in the end I've concluded they're either toxic or not the right fit for me.
First thing I have/had a crush, but instead of saying I don' know "it's ok to have a crush but leave it at that they encouraged me to go further". First bad sign I guess.

nyways the good news about this crush is that it made me realize I don't have enough clothes that make me feel sexy. So as a group of friends I asked for their advice.

I have two completely different looks, the "everyday one" and the "going out " one. I've always liked my style, really never had a problem with it. They told me I should throw everything away and start anew. Her idea of nice clothes just doesn't go with mine. It's just too slutty (so you have an idea my ideal "normal" clothes are chinos/jeans and either a shirt or a graphic tee and converse. It goes with my personality (a young mum who's is very much into music). I've worn these types of clothes ever since I was a teenager (I still fit in some of them!) I'm a true believer that what matters the most with clothes is to feel comfortable and happy, the rest comes by itself. The bottomline I guess is that I like my style, I don't think there's anything innately wrong with it and I've decided that I'll start buying clothes because I like them and not because they're cheap. My wardrobe needs a revamp for sure, but it should be still within my own style. I lived a long life of my mom and sister telling me I looked ridiculous / vulgar (I have a curvy body as in big boobs and bum). I feel comfortable in my own skin at that's what matters.

To make things worse, at some point I told them I was a bad mom (usual too much work I work full time!) etc. Instead of saying, hey don't worry your kids are gonna be alright , t one of the told me "well i can't judge you as I'm no one to judge you..." My best friend has never said that to me , she just always find the way to comfort me. That's when everything clicked and I realized I was going on a terrible path, I concluded they were kind of toxic and decided to focus on my offline life. I still can't decide if I should just leave that chat or ignore them. Sorry for the rant !

Cricrichan Mon 28-Nov-16 10:44:51

I can't imagine why you'd want to continuing being in touch with people who don't get you, support you in the wrong way and you don't gain anything from them. Stick to your real friends who do.

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