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Some advice please

(2 Posts)
yellowpostitnote Mon 28-Nov-16 08:13:19

My husband and I have had a tough time since the birth of our wonderful son.

The pregnancy was fraught with illness and anxiety, not the best birth, some feeding issues and a completely non sleeping non eating clingon who is now just amazing.

I had further health issues which were hard to get to the bottom of abd it was very stressful. I had about a year off work; on returning still wasn't great then finally diagnosed with asthma. I'm now just starting to It's been a very long 4 years and we lost our selves along the way.

After another emotional argument I've worked out neither of us have much faith in each other's coping capability. My husband especially tends to tell me what he thinks will happen / assumes the worst about how I might cope or do. I think I do the same - (he's taken a little while to grow up). I probably have too high expectations. I expect he has the same.

Basically there's fear, anxiety and s lack of confidence in each other's parenting strength. Its then hard for us to open up about worries as it ignites the lack of confidence. I think then both our self esteem are low.

We are having counselling, but probably not as regularly as we should.

Any safe advice about how to change these patterns? I think by working this out I can spot it in him or myself as soon as it happens but I'm. It sure how we can make ourselves stronger together.

I have a lot of confidence in child psychology due to my profession. He has struggled with aspects of this/ understanding of what's normal etc. This has been hard too.

I hope this makes sense?

ofudginghell Mon 28-Nov-16 08:26:59

What are the issues you two have with each other?
I'm a little confused but have read it like since having your child your relationship has changed?
Have you been together for a long time?
My relationship changed with each child (2) and I also changed and so did my dh along the way. We never stay the same person as life experiences change us.
My dh and I accept we have changed a fair bit on the 13 years together but we keep talking and are very open with each other and have a respect for each other.
With our youngest dc although the pregnancy was good the labour and birth were horrendous and I had a very very hard time. We then had a poorly baby to cope with so both of us went through a huge change but we respect how hard it must have been for each other.
Have you spoken to each other about how your feeling?

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