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Fey Child

(254 Posts)
HoneyBeeMum1 Mon 28-Nov-16 02:44:43

I feel I am in a difficult situation and would be grateful for the advice of the Mumsnet community.

My husband and I have been living in a remote and beautiful part of the Scottish Highlands having relocated from London a few years ago. We have five children, including a boy at university in England and four girls.

My husband is the love of my life and he loves me as deeply as I love him. Our children are healthy, happy and beautiful. We are fairly insular and - until recently - did not have much social interaction outside the immediate family. We have much to be thankful for and not a day goes by that I do not appreciate our good fortune.

So far, so good.

Unfortunately, there is a potential flaw in our blissful existence and I am in a complete quandary trying to decide how best to act.

My eldest daughter - who I will refer to as 'Emily' started at secondary school this academic year. Due to our remote location and the considerable distance to school, she boards from Monday to Friday and returns home for weekends.

Fortunately, she made a friend - who I will call Sarah - who lives only a few miles from us. We have become close friends with Sarah's parents and we share travel arrangements for the girls as well as regularly socialising with them.

Everything seemed to be working so well. However, I have started to have some concerns about Sarah. She is something of a 'fey child', given to flights of fancy and strange moods. I have noticed on occasions when she has been staying at our home that she has moments when she appears vacant and I suspect she might be experiencing petit-mal seizures. I have mentioned my concerns to her mother who insists that she is fine and puts her strange behaviour down to being an only child.

Unfortunately, Sarah's strange behaviour has been noticed by the other children at school and this has led to her being shunned. They accuse her of being a witch and some even claim to be afraid of her. Sarah is also prone to tantrums for which she has been punished by her teachers.

Emily is fiercely protective of her friend which makes me enormously proud. However, I fear she will be tainted by association and that this will affect her relationships with her teachers and other pupils.

Am I being selfish and unreasonable to feel that I would prefer Emily to make other friends and distance herself from Sarah? I realise that to do so will also jeopardise the newly forged friendship between our families which I would deeply regret losing.

Your advice and opinions would be of great assistance.

Thank you.

ProfessorBranestawm Mon 28-Nov-16 03:03:24

A witch? Really? confused Have we travelled back in time?!

Seriously though, I think you should leave well alone. Trying to interfere in a teenager's friendships is bound to end in disaster TBH

user1476718876 Mon 28-Nov-16 03:14:39

Character defining for your daughter to stand by a valued friend I'd think.

I don't think getting involved is necessary other than to encourage her to be a loyal friend and to build friendships throughout her school life; if she's looking for your input that is.

VenusRising Mon 28-Nov-16 03:15:11

Your dad must make other friends, this doesn't not mean she has to not be friends with Sarah, just that she needs to broaden out her network.

Ask other girls to stay over with you as well as Sarah.
Just because you don't just have Sarah and her family as friends does not mean the ties between the families will be severed, and if it does, then the relationship is indeed toxic and not good for your DD or you.

Your DD needs to get a hobby or sport with other friends. You must help her with spreading her wings in this.

Mix it up a bit.

Redglitter Mon 28-Nov-16 03:15:21

A fey child?? Seriously hmm

I can't believe some of the things I read on here at times

user1477282676 Mon 28-Nov-16 03:24:52

I think this is a book plot...which OP has used as an AIBU.

Unfortunately the book is not well known enough for anyone to "get it"

SlottedSpoon Mon 28-Nov-16 03:34:02

I'm with you Red. Quite the most bizarrely worded thread I've read in ages.

And why on earth did we need so much background on you marriage, your family and your geographical location in order to discuss someone else's slightly peculiar child? confused

Anyway, assuming his is real and not some plot for a book, I'd say that Sarah sounds fine but the rest of the children in the school sound like pea-brained backward peasants with pitchforks, and you would probably do well to move back to civilization before Sarah and Emily find themselves burned at the stake or something.

TheStoic Mon 28-Nov-16 03:46:06

I give up....what's the book called?

ClarissaDarling Mon 28-Nov-16 03:50:31

I'm getting shades of money Python here, 'shes a witch' and the villagers all gathered round, that or it's a bit Tiffany Aching!

MsHooliesCardigan Mon 28-Nov-16 03:55:49

I live in London and occasionally have fantasies about moving to somewhere really remote. This is the perfect reminder to stay put.

QueenCarpetJewels Mon 28-Nov-16 04:03:38

It's also sounding very similar to a film that was on late night TV fairly recently! Can't for the life of me remember what it was called though.

BeverlyGoldberg Mon 28-Nov-16 04:26:11

Burn her with fire obvs.

Is it half term or someone with a lot of time in their hands?

ravenmum Mon 28-Nov-16 05:47:05

I think you should venture out one wild and windy morning, across the fields where the wild grass bends its head against the onslaught of the elements. Take the train from a deserted station into the cold, forbidding town and travel to your daughter's reside.

There you will first encounter the brilliant but troubled teacher who has taken on the task of protecting Sarah against the ravages of the modern world.

ClarissaDarling Mon 28-Nov-16 05:51:31

Ravenmum but should a hare cross her path on this journey, she must turn back, as it is forboden.....

hesterton Mon 28-Nov-16 06:03:50

I'm wracking my brains to try and remember what book this might be from. It sounds very 1905 ish to me. Or maybe 1930s? I love the word fey and would be delighted to have a fey friend. Perhaps she's a Scottish kelpie.

thisisafakename Mon 28-Nov-16 06:21:21

I think this is a book plot...which OP has used as an AIBU

Why would you bother? Do people seriously have that much time on their hands? Especially if it isn't even a well known book (haven't got a clue personally).

Lunar1 Mon 28-Nov-16 06:23:44

There must be something witchy about you too, how else would you have got the internet in your century?

LavenderDoll Mon 28-Nov-16 06:24:19


NC1nightstand Mon 28-Nov-16 06:27:34

Aww, is the OP coming back, I want to hear more!

KittensWithSuperpowers Mon 28-Nov-16 06:32:54

That's a very outing op.

I would encourage your dd to stand by her friend and would let her parents know about the shunning at school.

Why when you feel this girl might need support you would consider telling your dd to make new friends is beyond me.

FreddoFrog Mon 28-Nov-16 06:36:50

Heathers?? The one with Shannon Doherty and set in NZ. Though I think that had a lesbian bent...

DoItTooJulia Mon 28-Nov-16 06:39:19

I think you need to get out more.

QueenLaBeefah Mon 28-Nov-16 06:40:19

You live in the north of Scotland not the 1600s. What a load of pish.

WingedSloath Mon 28-Nov-16 06:43:58

My Grandad is from Scotland and used the word fey to describe his wife, as in unworldly not a witch grin

The fact that the word witch has been used by other children tells me this boarding school must be very isolated. Didn't we stop calling people witches in the 1800s?

Your daughter should stand by her friend. Imagine if this was the other way round. Accept people for who they are. Normal is a setting on a washing machine. Children will pick on anything they perceive as different.

JimmyChoosChimichanga Mon 28-Nov-16 06:45:42

OP, the 1800's rang. They want you, your family and your remote location back. No one called Cathy there at all? It's meeee, Cathy, I've come home now........ woooo oooooo.
If, in the unlikely event this is real and you are genuinely advising your DD to distance herself from her friend, you should be ashamed of yourself.

As you were.

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