I finished it!

[MrsRaegan]

Just that really, my ExP and I were together for 18 months. He would sneak out in the middle of the night and disappear round to his friends for drinks, he wouldn't come home from work until the day after fresh from a bender. He stopped contributing to any of the bills/rent. And I let this continue and I listened to his stories and his apologies and I let him stay because he had nowhere to go.

2 weeks ago the same happened again and finally, finally I had enough I told him not to come back. He presented at the Council as homeless, as he was in a position to pay rent he got a flat instead of a bedsit. He is full of apologies etc, and then yesterday he went on the missing list again.

I don't want to get back with him, but he plays the "lonely at Christmas, no where to go" and I feel so sorry, and sad that I let him talk me round. I have my son, and I don't want to get back with him, I need to ignore the sob stories, but how?

[TheNaze73]

By going no contact

[ElspethFlashman]

By telling him to jog on. Seriously. Just tell him that.

[jules179]

He will never bother to sort himself out if you keep stepping in and salvaging things for him.

[Lorelei76]

Wel, you haven't finished it then have you
It's your choice to care about his sob stories
Why not just have a nice Xmas with your son?

Also, what is the missing list? He shouldn't have you listed as in case of emergency. He has friends.

[MrsRaegan]

I have finished it, and fully intend to have an amazing Christmas with my son. I drove him to the council, I supplied stuff for the flat and then I walked away. But I feel heart sick that anyone would be alone on Christmas. I think no contact is best your right.

Sorry I rambled in opening post and it didn't make that much sense really, did it? I just need to not think about him, because then I want to check on him.

[KeepCoolCalmAndCollected]

He's got zero respect for you.
Don't worry about him at Christmas, he'll be in a boozer or round at his friends on another bender. In other words, he will only let you down again.
He's an unreliable waste of space and always will be.
Give yourself some time and then find somebody that respects you x

[SandyY2K]

Does he not have a single friend or relative?

Unless he's a vulnerable adult, the council won't be much help to him, but I'm sure they'll signpost him.

He's not your problem. Block him and ignore him.

You've done well to end it.

[MrsRaegan]

He has friends that would drink with him, none that would put him up or help him out. His family don't speak to him, they're not close at all.

He has a roof over his head now,

I think I've done all I can do. Thanks ladies, I just needed to vent.

[Lorelei76]

Maybe his drinking buddies won't help because he's horrible?

What is the missing list please? Do you just mean you didn't hear from him? Block his number.

[MrsRaegan]

Yeah sorry, I didn't realise that might be a local saying. Just means he's gone off the radar.

Number blocked, deleted and blocked from Facebook. I've put the toddler to bed and poured a glass of wine. Now to crack on with Greys Anatomy. Thank you everyone, I think I knew what I had to do anyway, I just needed it confirmed.

[Lorelei76]

Oh I'm only on the first season of Greys! It's intimidating because there's so much to catch up with!!

Keep your radar on the important stuff

[MrsRaegan]

I will, thank you. Work full time and Christmas coming up so I should be kept busy enough.

Stick with it, I'm on season 13 and I love it.

[Lorelei76]

Damn, I thought there were 12!

Why did I not discover this show before?!