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Should I attempt to reconnect?

(10 Posts)
GerardNoWay Sun 27-Nov-16 08:41:12

I'll make it quick!

Had a teach from Year 9 to Year 11 who helped me through some pretty rough stuff. May have had a crush on him towards the end/written an inappropriate letter!

Fast forward to university and I add him on Facebook. We meet for a coffee and that is that, never really speak again.

I removed him from my Facebook shortly after my daughter was born a year ago as I wanted to restrict who could see pictures of her.

Had a dream about him last night, wake up thinking should I re add, apologise for being such a weirdo at school, etc.

I don't know whether to leave it at that, but it's just sometimes he emerges into my consciousness and I cringe about my 16-18 year old self and the way she acted!

What would you do?

jules179 Sun 27-Nov-16 08:43:56

I would leave it.
As a teacher he should be well used to teenage girls. We all have things that we probably cringe about, but I think for most of that going back and apologising or explaining would just exacerbate the cringeyness.

ScarletForYa Sun 27-Nov-16 08:47:59

Leave it!

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 27-Nov-16 08:53:11

Yes leave it honestly op it won't be as big a deal to him as it is to you- and it's only really playing on your mind because of your dream.

Bagina Sun 27-Nov-16 08:53:32

Leave it. In my opinion he shouldn't be adding pupils or even former pupils on fb. I've an adult friend who is in an awful relationship with her old teacher. They actually kissed when she was at school (70s or 80s) and she's completely obsessed with him even though he's a complete wanker to her. It's like she was groomed by him. He just enjoys the power and attention. Just leave it be.

StreetFighter Sun 27-Nov-16 08:53:43

I would leave it, mainly on the grounds that you've got nothing to apologise for. Indeed, I'd suggest it's the other way round.

It is entirely appropriate for teenagers to have crushes on teachers; it is a safe way to road-test their burgeoning sexuality. What is not appropriate is for teachers to not have clear boundaries in place and to meet recently-ex students for coffees and have them as friends on Facebook.

Maverickismywingman Sun 27-Nov-16 08:54:54

Leave it

Meadows76 Sun 27-Nov-16 08:56:45

Old teachers are just that, old teachers. There isn't any need for you to have contact!

Chinnychinnychin Sun 27-Nov-16 08:58:23

Oh me too! My poor English A level teacher dealing with dramatic/crush filled me - when I think back to it I am mortified! What a twat I was but that's what those years are about - don't be hard on yourself. He'll have dealt with countless similar students before and after you! You were behaving exactly the way you needed to at that age and that's ok. Please don't be ashamed.
In terms of contacting him, personally I think you shouldn't. You don't need to apologise for behaving like teenagers do, and it might just bring up some uncomfortable feelings that belong in the past. Look forwards!

GerardNoWay Sun 27-Nov-16 08:59:22

Thank you!

Needed that! It is left well alone, you are right!

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