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Should I give this guy another chance?

(9 Posts)
MyPeriodFeatures Sun 27-Nov-16 04:49:47

I went on a date with a guy I've known just to say hello to for about a year.

He is absolutely gorgeous, we have lots in common and people in common too.

However I terminated the date, not brutally but had felt over whrlmed because he was really oversharing some stuff and asking me about sex and talking about ex's.

He said he d fancies me for ages and he was nervous. He remembered details of conversations we'd had year ago which I'd forgotten and was interested and interesting.

I feel like I've closed the book now. He said he realised he cocked the date up and we had a laugh about it and he asked for a second chance or even to see me again as mates.

I have cut convo short, not to be rude but I'm worried about getting swept along with someone who potentially could be a total nightmare.

However I'm also possibly missing out. Should I stick to my guns on the deal breakers or give him a second chance? Or have I blown it with the slightly cold shoulder?

Bogeyface Sun 27-Nov-16 05:02:50

Maybe get to know each other as mates first, less pressure that way and see how he goes. Some people go completely bonkers when they are nervous and trying too hard, so relax it a bit he may be completely different.

But make it clear that its just as mates to start with and with no promises of it ever being more than that.

A good way to judge someone is to meet their friends, so if there is an event where you can do that then that would bea good start. If they are all immature boorish arseholes then chances are he will be the same, if they are not then again, chances are he isnt either.

category12 Sun 27-Nov-16 06:31:04

I think you're thinking about it the wrong way - it's whether he has blown it with you, surely?

If you want to give him another chance, do so, but don't be afraid to assert your boundaries. And if he repeats the behaviour, then no more chances after that. But I think he sounds pushy and I would be very careful.

It's great that you ended the date when he was being a dick BTW. Well done.

booklooker Sun 27-Nov-16 06:36:05

If you don't feel threatened by him in any way, if you find his company interesting and engaging, if you fancy the socks off him, why not have another go.

TheStoic Sun 27-Nov-16 06:37:06

If this were me - if that was the one downside to the date, and he apologised, I'd give him one more chance.

MyPeriodFeatures Tue 29-Nov-16 09:08:01

He came over for a glass of wine after work. We laughed about the date and are definately friends. When he got to mine I had no make up on and he was in his work clothes. I feel comfortable with him and safe. I think he's just a massive twat. A mutual friends assessment - 'he's a twat, lovely but a massive twat'

So there was a bit of snogging before he left and it was nice. I've not had any snogging for ages so not turning that down. DD at her dads and if he comes round then it'll be on that night, none other. No 'relationship' will happen here smile

MyPeriodFeatures Tue 29-Nov-16 09:08:59

I also have a lovely circle of friends who will sort me out if it gets out of hand smile

Ladyformation Tue 29-Nov-16 10:07:23

I'm...not totally sure what he's done wrong. One person's oversharing is another person's conversation. He's realised that he made you uncomfortable and apologised for it. He might be a twat in other ways but I haven't read anything here which makes me think that...

MyPeriodFeatures Tue 29-Nov-16 10:21:56

I think asking how many people you've slept with on a first date is a bit wrong. Talking about exes, asking about kinks, telling you about their childhood issues.

I honestly don't think it was ill intended, I think he was just being nervous and un filtered. However I now have some of the contents of his brain and TBH it feels a bit safer than someone who is so controlled they are probably hiding a lot...

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