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pregnancy has changed our relationship

(8 Posts)
charlybs Sat 26-Nov-16 21:55:09

Wondered if anyone had advice to offer.

Since I became pregnant my DH has been very loving but has basically stopped all intimacy. Nothing over a peck on the mouth and a hug.

I've brought this up several times indirectly by telling him I have had low self esteem since being pregnant, and he says all the right things and tells me I'm beautiful and he loves me.

I have almost given up trying to kiss him or initiate anything because I am always rejected in the kindest way possible. He says he's tired or he will kiss me then get up for something to break it off.

I confronted him about it directly this morning and he said since the pregnancy he's seen me in a different way, but assured me it's not a bad thing and that I'm sexy and beautiful etc. I felt better for telling him but it still seems unresolved.

I just want my husband back. Being intimate and snogs etc has always been such an important part of the relationship for me and my self esteem is literally hanging by a thread right now. I already feel weird as my body is changing so much.

Sorry this is basically a massive whinge. x

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 26-Nov-16 21:57:30

My husband was scared of hurting the baby when I was pregnant and we had sex about 3 times in 9 months.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 26-Nov-16 21:59:10

Meant to add-he went back to normal after dd was born.

Bumplovin Sat 26-Nov-16 22:01:58

We've been the same, we've only had sex about 4 times in the pregnancy, it started off with me being so so exhausted and then I think he was worried Id go into early labour. We do cuddle but kissing has been more of a peck. Im hoping it goes back to normal after. He still says im beautiful and I look good I think he just knows im uncomfortable and has backed off a little. In some ways it's nice that I know we can love each other still without it but I miss the intimacy and can't wait to have this baby next week!

Happybunny19 Sat 26-Nov-16 22:07:50

Don't worry at all. My OH was like this during all three pregnancies and it went back to normal after the birth and I was ready to resume normal activities. He tried to explain that it's because he felt the need to look after me and, like yours, saw me differently. I think it's their nurturing instincts coming out - sweet really.

charlybs Sat 26-Nov-16 22:55:40

I just can't imagine another 4-6 months like this minimum, if it does go back to normal some time afterwards. So I'm glad other posters say it goes back but my stomach is sinking thinking it will go on like this now for however long. I've explained to him lots it wouldn't hurt or disturb the baby so it's just the 'feeling differently' I'm dealing with I guess.

charlybs Sat 26-Nov-16 22:56:41

I've also made it as clear as I can that I'm not feeling too tired or sick so it's not that.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 26-Nov-16 23:06:20

I think my DH saw me as some kind of "sacred vessel" not to be tainted grin

Honestly pregnancy does something strange to some men.

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