please can anyone help.
for the last 2 years I have been supporting my elderly sister.
she is now in a nursing home.
dsis is frail and vulnerable ,totally unable to care for herself. unable to stand unaided..
she has cancer, 1 kidney functioning at 50%.
of course she becomes confused with financial matters so I have supported her in this.
her husband has dementia and also in a (different) care home.
he abused my dsis all through their married life, in every way possible.
social workers/hospitals once they understood her situation, realised the reason she was literally at deaths door last year was because he refused to allow her medical care/palliative/meals and everything she was offered.
until she was finally admitted with sepsis not knowing if she would survive.
now her husband is away from her, I am able to support her emotionally/physically in any way I can.
for the first time in her life she is free of fear, and is living in a caring environment.
she rang me yesterday in a very distressed state.
the care home that the husband is in is harassing her.
they ring her, telling her she is responsible for paying his home fees (they will send invoices for her to pay).
(I have taken over her arrangement for her fees by DD , which is paid via her pension through her sole account )
an advocate was supposed to be appointed for him to deal with his financial affairs through his Social worker, which at one point they said had been appointed in feb this year, then in august was just in the process of being appointed.
my dsis is so frail and vulnerable that she doesn't want to become involved in all this.
the prolonged abuse she suffered at his hands through her life has led to periods of post traumatic stress.
the manager of his care home told her that she MUST be responsible for this, as he(husband) isn't capable himself.
dsis was tearful saying "i don't want to do this, I can't do this" .
please someone tell me, surely she isn't required legally to see to his financial affairs.
I battled so hard since june 2015 to get the best care I can for my dsis.
her husband has 1 daughter and 1 adult granddaughter but neither want anything to do with him after suffering a lifetime of abuse from him themselves.
I have tried to contact his care home, but no one answers, just a message saying you can't leave a message.
I have emailed instructing them to stop harassing my dsis yet received no reply.
what on earth can I do now?
today I will email the husbands social worker to tell her to leave my dsis alone or I will report this harassment to the police.
I tried to make light of it to dsis and said, oh don't worry I will sort it out, all I want is for the care home to deal with the husbands fees (3 months outstanding) and leave dsis alone.
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elderly frail sister being harrassed
27 replies
iknowiamright · 26/11/2016 15:41
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