Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

DRY 16

(992 Posts)
vxa2 Mon 21-Nov-16 21:38:28

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting each other every step of the way. smile

Link to Dry 15

vxa2 Mon 21-Nov-16 21:43:00

A lovely shiny new thread to take us through to Christmas and beyond...

MaudlinNamechange Mon 21-Nov-16 21:56:01

Hope everyone is cuddled up with brew on this foul night

sobersarah Mon 21-Nov-16 21:57:23

Hurrah! New thread smile thanks vxa

Patchworkchicken Mon 21-Nov-16 21:59:35

Thanks vxa ! Hello all

lbab1702 Mon 21-Nov-16 22:15:37

Hi. I have often read this thread as I struggled with alcohol for years. 3 years ago I had a general health check ( around my 50th ) and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and put straight onto insulin. I stopped drinking the same day and have been dry till 3 weeks ago. Due to family problems, depression, and anti depressants not really helping, I've hit the wine in the evenings again! How can that happen? I hated the thought of drinking for the last 3 years, but I've gone straight back to a bottle of wine a night. And of course it's not helping my low moods, just numbs me for a few hours.

Patchworkchicken Mon 21-Nov-16 22:31:47

Hello lbab, welcome and well done for having the courage to post. Could you try to have an alcohol free day tomorrow ? One day at a time, just start again, you know you can do it as you've already proved that.

efc1878 Mon 21-Nov-16 22:32:17

Evening welcome to all new joiners! Day 9 for me. Taking it one day at a time. Nice sober weekend and felt bright and sharp for work today.

throughtheviolets Mon 21-Nov-16 22:44:27

Thanks vxa day 2 done...

Loubilou09 Mon 21-Nov-16 22:49:21

Yay new thread - thank you vxa2.

Well done violets! Welcome Ibab

userformallyknownasuser1475360 Tue 22-Nov-16 00:04:42

Hmmmm just 23hrs 57 mins of not drinking for me today.

I'm talking on another thread re trying to get back with dw- some people would nearly drive me to drink.

aziraphale Tue 22-Nov-16 06:53:47

Hi. Can you help me? I started yesterday. I'm scared.

efc1878 Tue 22-Nov-16 07:00:34

Hi Ariz and welcome.

You are in the right place! Do you have any support or sober plans in place? Look at today don't drink just for today. Do you want to share any more? I'm day 10 sober today but managed a months sober this year.

I used podcasts- the bubble hour is good, sober blogs- you'll find links on dry 15, dog walking, change of old habits that trigger.

userformallyknownasuser1475360 Tue 22-Nov-16 07:33:06

Hi Ariz, the only thing you have to be scared of is;

Weight loss, better skin, more money, clear functioning head, better relationships, less guilt, better health,

To name but a few

MaudlinNamechange Tue 22-Nov-16 08:51:17

Day 2. I know from experience it's going to take me at least a few days to feel good. Still irrationally disappointed that I'm not feeling like climbing mountains hangover-free.
Part of the problem - which was pretty scary - is how much I could drink and still feel functional the next day. Not perfect - but not with the kind of sick, shaky hangover I used to get from occasional binges.
I know that this tired, sick, depressed feeling is partly a long-halflife-hangover and in a few days (with some good nights' sleep) it will all start to feel a lot better.

I drank really hard the night of the US election. I was at a party with friends, no one else was drinking as much as me but I was just caning it, re-filling myself constantly. I did have a hangover the day after that but had to work and distracted myself and got through it. then I started becoming obsessed with the news, and lots of sort of meta-news - millions of essays about Trump, alt-right, what it all means - and started spending all my time at work reading those, and all my time in the evenings drinking and reading more.

It's been two weeks now since that night and my mood has just been getting worse and worse as work slides; I get fatter; I drink more and sit on the internet reading more. Last night I didn't drink but couldn't stop myself reading the internet.

This isn't a new thing. I have battled with drink for years but this Trump-related, work-related funk is the latest manifestation of me just being crap at life.

I need a really good distraction. I've got to take something up that I can do at home that will take me off the fecking news sites.

I also think I need something positive to do in the world. I need to feel that I am engaged, that there is something I can do, that I don't just have to watch while everything goes to shit and hate takes over.

efc1878 Tue 22-Nov-16 09:37:41

Hi Maudlin

Quick post I'm off to work. Too much information all the time from news, web etc is overwhelming. Could you read or try a mediation app? I like headspace it's only short.

LostSoul1985 Tue 22-Nov-16 09:39:17

Hi all,
Thank you Via, Sober Sarah, Patchworkchicken & Loubi for the positive words & encouraging us newbies flowers

Glad your still with us Maudlin & Violets, hopefully Romantic Walks will find her way here too ☺

I'm starting my day 10 & the feeling down & shitty all the time is beginning to pass but am still constantly tired so taking it slow & practicing a but of self care - something I'm sure we all struggle at times & trying to keep my stress levels low. I feel I'm currently 'less efficient' atm because anything unimportant I'm letting slide as staying sober is my priority & hopefully as a crank up the AF days I'll feel stronger & be able to manage more (without letting things overwhelm me). Well that's the plan anyway.

Hi Ibab & welcome to dry ☺ Congratulations on 3 years sober - what an achievement! I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. Not everyone one gets AF first time but what's important is how quickly we recognise that we have relapsed & seek help - like the ol' saying goes... 'ain't how many times we stumble - it's how many times we rise that matters...' Family stress is a huge 'trigger' & that's what I'm working on.

Hi Ariz & welcome - I feel huge anxiety after a heavy session & it passes & gets better, hopefully if you can manage the next few days, you'll feel a bit better?

User, your in your 70's? (AF days that is not years!) Great job!

There's a few other members on day 10 too, EFC, Who & Mnaddict - hope your doing well

Wishing all a safe & sober Tuesday

userformallyknownasuser1475360 Tue 22-Nov-16 10:02:09

Day 77 - 11weeks, if you had said to me 12 weeks ago I could do this I would have thought you were mad - but it had all been done one day at a time.

I'm as close to lifting a drink as anyone else on here is but I will maybe leave it till tomorrow and see thenwink

maudlin I used to feel I was functioning the following day after drinking, but I look at the difference in everything now, I have moved (been pushed out) by dw largely due to my drinking, the home I'm now is clean, warm comfortable, I had visitors at short notice the other day, and dint have to run round hiding empty bottles/cans etc. They called about 10:30am and were amazed that a single man had the house so clean (with a 10 year old in it) fire lit etc. Had I been functioning (as an alcoholic) my son wouldn't have been there, the house would have been a tip, and it would be likely I wouldn't have been out of bed.

I think when I was in the booze I was existing rather than functioning.

LostSoul1985 Tue 22-Nov-16 10:18:41

Maudlin, I also am a bit worried & sad about Donald Trump being elected & indeed Brexit because of the impact it has on stability, which matter to my kids future. I think also the increase in racial attacks & increased prejudice as a result is also very sad. However a friend posted something on facebook that put things into context & helped me a bit. Along the lines of, there are many people who don't care about the election results. People are living in povery, some homeless, some jobless, living with sexual violence, oppression, conflict, prejudice on a daily basis and in some situations for many years. The suggestion that you can help contribute to a better society by helping out in your local community can be rewarding & gives food for thought that you can still make a positive difference & let that which is beyond our control be.

userformallyknownasuser1475360 Tue 22-Nov-16 11:05:10

I would say give it about six months and trump won't be in office anyway....

Another thing I learned (prior to stopping drinking) is about worry......fair enough, worry about Trump, but is one person in the U.K. Worrying about Trump going to change the fact that he is president?

If your answer to the above is yes, you need a lot more help than this forum can provide.....if the answer is no then why worry?

Think of the phrase "it's not even worth worrying about" if you break that down, it means that worry is the littlest-smallest-most I significant thing you can do as regards a problem.

The only thing that worry is good for? Sending you back to the booze, which will magnify it......and then you have the mushroom

aziraphale Tue 22-Nov-16 11:09:50

Thank you all. I am lurking and listening.

Loubilou09 Tue 22-Nov-16 11:28:29

Maudlin, it's weird but some of your post resonated with me...I have become obsessed with things in the past and not sure why. I became absolutely fascinated with a very well known missing child case a few years ago and couldn't get myself away from articles and sub articles on the subject. I read all of the case files (which in itself is so bloody scary it is no wonder I became obsessed!) and lapped up every bit of information on the subject. I am not sure why I did this really but I have noticed I do become a bit like that with things for a week or two and then it passes, something else comes along and I focus my attention on that.

It does make me good at my job though because I am always on the case, always prepared to put more in than others would, can't let things go until they are perfect and when you are client facing and providing a service this means a lot!

I realize I do it and I try and keep my brain engaged with lots of projects and things to do which does help.

Not sure how this relates to drinking but it shows there is addictive tendancies...

MaudlinNamechange Tue 22-Nov-16 14:38:32


Loubilou - thanks for getting it. I'm on the news again today ARGH
I've got to stop and do some work!

User - great thoughts on cutting down worrying.

Lost - thanks. There seems to be so much instability at the moment. I am genuinely very worried about the future.

aziraphale, how are you today?

efc, will take a look at headspace

was asked to move my car last night and worried automatically for a second till I realised that for once I was sober

sobersarah Tue 22-Nov-16 14:39:11

If any one is interested, these are the blogs I find really really helpful

Belle's blog
Lucy's blog
Lily's blog
vxa2's blog
Mummy was a secret drinker blog
Jackie Elliot's The Wine Bitch blog

Other sites I love

Club Soda
Sober Sassy Life
Tired of thinking about drinking
Veronica Valli

I can recommend Headspace for calming the brain chatter and also Andrew Johnson stop drinking for, well , not drinking. You can find these as apps for Android or Apple products.
I've done lots of big chunks of sobriety before, lapsed and got straight back on it again with help of this thread, Belle, Lucy, Sober Sassy Life and lots of other sober blogs.

Every day I do Headspace meditation - on Day 218 now smile
In early days each time I listened to Andrew Johnson stop drinking and still listen to it, and others sometimes. There are lots of different ones, Stop drinking is amazing! Some are free, some a small charge.

I do daily sober homework - in first 30 days I read blogs, listened to the Belle podcast for the day, re read the Club Soda MOB daily email for the day also the Sober Sassy Playbook daily emails. I signed up these earlier in the year and since my lapse I have been re doing them. Really helps me remember to self care and reflect on how I feel and my progress.

Now I am on Day 65 ( this time round) and when I wake up ( hangover free!) I start my day with Headspace meditation, read my affirmations for the day (Don't drink, keep the sober momentum going, have sober treats, love myself, I am not broken, remember to leave other people to sort out their own shit unless asked to get involved and even then think several times if I want to) and write in my journal - this takes me 15 mins before I get up - so while my tea is cooling enough to drink.

I am doing Belles 180 day challenge so I have a daily sober podcast to listen to, which I tend to leave until the evening so if I feel a wobble I can use it smile also there are free one minute messages and a motivational email a day from Belle which are wonderful - . If you pay, you get extra support from Belle but there is a lot free - I actually went to a meet up with her and other sober friends in London last week smile

and reminding myself if I lapse I have to do Day 1 etc all over again next time (shudders) AND what ever it is that is making me want to drink would be so much worse if I were drunk or hungover, as well.

Hope all this helps smile

mnaddict1 Tue 22-Nov-16 14:55:28

Marking my place on the shiny new thread! Day 10 here. Feeling a bit shit today but onwards and upwards

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: