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Does this sound suspicious?

(48 Posts)
Hadenough72 Mon 21-Nov-16 17:38:02

My partner plays football on a Sunday.
We recently had a baby boy..
I was always stuck at home pregnant and we never did anything together so I've been so fed up..

He kept telling me to watch him play football. But I wasn't well through pregnancy so I didn't fancy standing at the side of a pitch and going to the pub afterwards.
He has only just started playing this year.
The rest of the teams partners go and watch.

Now I'm not pregnant I decided I'd surprise and support him even though he hasn't been supportive of me.

I asked my mum to have the baby one Sunday so I could watch him play.

Then I told him I'll tag along all excited.
He said
" Oh well I'm not sure you can, there won't be any room in the car as some of the lads girlfriends are already joining us. But you won't want to stand and watch anyway will you? Sorry baby"

That felt like a punch in the gut. Does it sound like he's hiding something.
I'm starting to believe he only asked me before to shut me up.. Knowing I technically can't go.
Why wouldn't he want me there..
There was always room up until today. I don't get it. He never includes me in anything and we are supposed to be getting married.
I only did it to support him

Lostandlonely1979 Mon 21-Nov-16 17:41:30

Maybe he is still in this phase: I didn't fancy standing at the side of a pitch and going to the pub afterwards. and needs a kick-up-the-backside reminder that you are no longer pregnant and are quite capable of standing comfortably now.

I'd say in this case, he needs it spelling out. If he continues to refuse, then I'd probably dig deeper.

Hadenough72 Mon 21-Nov-16 17:46:23

I just don't want to nag and tbh I feel unwelcome now... I'd be uncomfortable going.. I'd rather him want me there..
Plus I organised the baby sitter so he could play because it was his Sunday to lool after him while I did the gym ect that's the deal.. Alternative Sundays.

So I organised a baby sitter and told him I purposely did it as a surprise because I want to support you that was three days ago..

Then he randomly Said that today. Do you See?

FatOldBag Mon 21-Nov-16 17:47:37

Is it his car? Then there IS room for you and "some of the lads' girlfriends" can find another lift. It's really odd and mean that he's telling you you can't come. I'd tell him you ARE going and insist on it. It's time to focus back on spending time together and getting closer, he needs to be invested in that too.

Lostandlonely1979 Mon 21-Nov-16 17:49:37

Yes I think I see, but I still reckon you need to talk it through with him and be really direct that you're not doing it out of any sense of duty, that you really want to be there. I don't think it's necessarily fair to suspect him of hiding something based on that one response (maybe too short notice to find space in the car - if it's a car it'll very easily fill up).

Unless there are other things making you suspicious?

Lostandlonely1979 Mon 21-Nov-16 17:50:59

A thought - if his argument is that you don't want to stand around, can't you suggest meeting him at the pub afterward? If there's something to be worried about, it'll become very obvious if he doesn't want you at the post-match shenanigans.

Chloeneedshelp Mon 21-Nov-16 17:52:16

Can you take your own car? Do you drive? Do you know any of the other girlfriends you can go with?

Hadenough72 Mon 21-Nov-16 18:04:34

I don't drive due to illness thats a long story lol.
It's not his car.. But usually there is only him and the lads girlfriend who travel there.

I've told him all week how excited I am to see him play. He knows it's not about just supporting him.

I don't know any of them he never introduces me

He has done this thing before he didn't want me coming to his offices introduce our baby to his colleagues. Said I wasn't allowed in..

He regularly picks out my faults too.. (small breasts ect)
I guess I feel he's ashamed of me

HeavenlyEyes Mon 21-Nov-16 18:06:50

erm he sounds most unpleasant - why are you with him?

Lostandlonely1979 Mon 21-Nov-16 18:09:42

If he's picking at your faults in such a horrible way, this is about way more than a football match. Do you want to share some of the things he says to you? A small breasts comment could, I guess, be misconstrued (i.e. a daft 'joke' that just isn't funny) but listed among others, you could start to discover that he's in fact being very abusive to you.

It's worrying that he's not letting you come into work, either.

Chloeneedshelp Mon 21-Nov-16 18:51:16

Time to get tough with him I think. If he's ashamed of you then he needs to know that you'll soon find someone else who isn't ashamed of you!! Another case of not realising what he's got until it's gone. Don't be second best to his social life. You need to talk to him and know exactly where you stand.

Simonneilsbeard Mon 21-Nov-16 19:04:40

I can't say that it sounds suspicious of anything but he sounds a bit of a tosser.
Maybe you should find a hobby of your own and let him stay at home and look after the baby and remind him of his small penis and saggy balls while your at it.

OohhThatsMe Mon 21-Nov-16 19:09:52

Do you really want to marry a man like this, OP? This is supposed to be the best time!

everythingis Mon 21-Nov-16 19:19:18

How are things otherwise?

Chloeneedshelp Mon 21-Nov-16 19:19:40

Agree with Simonneilsbeard. He needs to be put in the position you are in to realise how you feel! Don't get stuck in a rut where you get more and more unhappy and waste time. Talk to him.

WamBamThankYouMaam Mon 21-Nov-16 19:20:36

Perhaps there genuinely isn't any room in the car.

Small breasts are not a fault. He doesn't sound very nice.

Yourarejokingme Mon 21-Nov-16 19:25:00

Time for that talk and if he won't ask why don't be fobbed off.

He knew for days you wanted to be there and then last minute decided no you can't

He doesn't want you at work is the place dangerous cos if not why not.

I would be putting the wedding on hold for now.

Plus if you do alternative Sunday's he organises the baby sitter not you.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Mon 21-Nov-16 19:35:46

Sounds a real charmer this one, small breasts are a fault? hmm

I don't see anything suspicious, I do however see a tosser who appears to want to put you down-why would you let him?

Next time your mum offers to look after your son I suggest you do something for yourself, stop doing things to suit this person who can't even be bothered to treat the mother of his child with respect.

Chloeneedshelp Mon 21-Nov-16 19:37:39

It doesn't mean he's having an affair. Don't think this is all over. I just think you're stuck in a rut where he has his social life and you're kept separate, at home and that isn't fair. My other half has his mates and I have my mates and we do things seperately but we also do things together. It's nice to have some girly time away but also a meal as couples with friends.

Wazzler Mon 21-Nov-16 20:52:29

Maybe he was upset that you couldn't be arsed to go and watch even just once before and has withdrawn the invitation

Chloeneedshelp Mon 21-Nov-16 21:01:34

If that was the case... Wouldn't he have just said that?

SoleBizzz Mon 21-Nov-16 22:12:46

Get a taxi..

Borisrules Mon 21-Nov-16 22:18:46

I would def be turning up in a taxi....

whattodowiththepoo Tue 22-Nov-16 01:10:22

It's not his car, I'm not sure what you expect him to do?

What on earth do you mean about your boobs? He told you having small boobs is bad? As an insult? Sorry I just can't get my head around why/how someone would say that.

BubblingUp Tue 22-Nov-16 01:31:29

I think he is lying. He just doesn't want you integrated into his life. Can't go to his work. Can't watch him play. Never met his friends. It's weird. You all don't sound like partners at all.

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