I am suffering from the back to wok blues massively today, I have just had a week off to go on holiday, overall this holiday was OK but it was not as good as expected due to delayed flights and cancellation of some trips out by the tour company. Therefore I had far too much time on my own which I hate.
Anyway its back to work tomorrow I am 8 months into a new role, and I still don’t think its for me. For what I do I am very well paid, close to £30K, 30 days annual leave plus bank holidays and incredible flexible working, the only thing is I don’t like the job, it’s not quit the job which was advertised and involves a large element I am hugely uncomfortable with which was not mentioned in the job spec or at interview. I like a behind the scenes role, but this involves lots of meetings which as a very anxious person who lacks confidence I hate. Also at times the work is really busy and other times there is not enough for me to do and my boss is just so hard to speak to, it is like getting blood from a stone. I crave stability and routine due to mental issues I have and I hate the uncertainty of the role. I also feel my boss underestimates what I can do. If I stay with the company after 2 years I can apply for other roles within the company and some of them are fantastic, but whether my boss would back me for them who knows.
I was in my last job for almost 10 years, I knew the job inside out, I was very well respected by the managers at the highest level and was a go to person, my new role I feel like I am not being stretched and the work in comparison to what was advertised is dull and mundane. I left my last job because there were no progression options which there will be if I can stick it out for 2 years in my new role.
I also feel like as a 33 year old I have failed, I have a small group of friends, but we don’t see each other often as they all have families, I don’t infact I have never had a relationship, I have been on lots of first dates but they just don’t progress, I find it hard to read people and just don’t realise when people are showing an interest.
I also feel my friends have found there passion and I see people making a good living from there interests be it teaching yoga, nutrition or massage therapy. I just don’t have the skills to follow my passion I love yoga and food too but I am not at a level of doing things professionally. I wish I could find a job which I love which will pay the mortgage etc.
I just feel life is passing me by and I do not know what to do, I desperately want a job I love and a family with children none of which I have at 33 I feel its too late, who is going to look at a 33 year old who has never had a relationship.
I try an meet people by going to more events, festivals etc pushing myself out there more, 2016 was meant to be the year, new job trying new things, I even braved a boudoir shoot. But as another year passes by I find myself in a job I don’t like, compared with one I loved on reflection and still single. I just don’t know what to do sometimes. These glossy magazines and you tubers showing the good life are just so unfair.
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Job and Relationship where am I going wrong? - long post alert!
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user1479737233 · 21/11/2016 14:26
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