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Dating whilst pregnant

(35 Posts)
Notjustapregnantlady Mon 21-Nov-16 12:18:34

So I'm 33 weeks pregnant and I have a 1 year old. I've recently split from the father buy were both living with his mum due to housing issues. Thing is I received a message on facebook from a lad I went to school with he wants to take me out on a date...... he knows I'm pregnant and I have a 1 year old he's absolutely fine with it. So I suppose I just want some advice really what do I wear as I'm as big as a house! Has anyone done this before and has any advice or tips for me?

shartsi Mon 21-Nov-16 12:27:37

Don't do it. You have just come out of a relationship, give yourself time to recover. Also do not confuse your one year old by having another man in your life. If the new bloke is a decent sort he will wait for a more convenient time. You might even reconcile with your kids father.

Trifleorbust Mon 21-Nov-16 12:34:23

Go, enjoy yourself! I don't know why some people think being pregnant means you have to don sack cloth and ashes. You're a single woman, he knows you're pregnant and wants to eat a meal with you. I would wear my lovely H&M black maternity dress that makes my bump look massive grin

Notjustapregnantlady Mon 21-Nov-16 12:35:44

I wouldn't even be thinking of introducing my 1 year old to him for months yet. And as for reconciling with my ex I've asked him and he said theres no way on earth were getting back together. I just don't want to pass up an opportunity to have a chance at happiness after months of being in a miserable relationship. I do still have feelings for my ex but he's told me that he doesn't feel anything towards me anymore.

Nonotmenori Mon 21-Nov-16 12:36:01

I was in a sim situation as you are. I didn't go. It didn't feel right even though I was single. If he's genuinely interested in you he will respect waiting until you've recovered from having your baby and you're in a better housing situation.

BratFarrarsPony Mon 21-Nov-16 12:38:18

sounds a bit iffy to me..
could you make it into a 'let's meet for coffee' instead?
Some men see women with small children as a meal ticket, sorry to say it.
You will probably get housed, you will get benefits....
you do not need a cocklodger as well.

Trifleorbust Mon 21-Nov-16 12:38:58

Different if you are still hoping for a reconciliation with your ex, though. Unless the date is very, very casual, it's probably a little unfair on the other bloke!

PoldarksBreeches Mon 21-Nov-16 12:40:54

Omg don't be silly! You can't start a relationship when you're heavily pregnant by a man you still want to be with. Fgs concentrate on parenting your children and think about dating way down the line!

RestlessTraveller Mon 21-Nov-16 12:41:56

I'd go. I don't see what harm it could do.

Trifleorbust Mon 21-Nov-16 12:42:37

Poldark: Ignoring the fact that she still wants to be with her ex (certainly an issue) why should a pregnant woman not begin a relationship? They're both adults.

RestlessTraveller Mon 21-Nov-16 12:42:42

But just see it as a date. Not a "chance at happiness"

Notjustapregnantlady Mon 21-Nov-16 12:44:10

I am still hoping for a reconciliation I really am but my ex has made his feelings clear. So should I wait it out and hope when he sees us all together as a family after the baby is born he'll want us back?

forumdonkey Mon 21-Nov-16 12:44:55

Trifeorburst the reason people say don't is because there are children involved. OP should be concentrating on her family and making her home stable not jumping out of one relationship into another.

OohhThatsMe Mon 21-Nov-16 12:45:14

Are you someone who can't stand to be without a man, OP? Are you still living together at his mum's?

Surely you can see that being massively pregnant and having a toddler isn't the best time to date someone new? Your attention needs to be on your children, not on some random from school.

Trifleorbust Mon 21-Nov-16 12:46:10

Oh, OP flowers

It isn't an either/or. Your ex has made his feelings clear so I would be trying to move on and focus on you and the baby. You obviously still have strong feelings so I think going on the date would be a mistake (even though I initially said go), but that doesn't mean you should hope for a reconciliation of that isn't looking at all likely. Good luck.

Trifleorbust Mon 21-Nov-16 12:47:58

Some proper self-righteous comments here today. Perhaps she should enter the holy orders and give her baby to a naice married couple as well hmm

Women don't stop being people just because they are pregnant. Going out for a Nandos with someone isn't going to stop her being a good parent. Grips available for anyone lacking.

Notjustapregnantlady Mon 21-Nov-16 12:49:18

I sort of know in the back of my mind that going on this date is a bad idea I just suppose I needed confirmation from someone else. I'll text him and just explain that it isn't the right time. Thank you for listening!

Notjustapregnantlady Mon 21-Nov-16 12:50:10

Thank you Trifle flowers

HermioneJeanGranger Mon 21-Nov-16 12:57:00

It's nothing to do with OP being a person or not!

More to do with the fact that she's so recently out of a relationship, and that she still wants to get back with her ex. I don't think going on a date with someone else is particularly fair in these circumstances, and I don't understand why it's a good idea to jump straight out of one relationship and into another, especially when you're still living with your ex and there are children involved!

Trifleorbust Mon 21-Nov-16 13:00:04

Hermione: If you read my comments you will note my acknowledgement of that. I just don't think it has anything to do with her pregnancy.

GrinchyMcGrincherson Mon 21-Nov-16 13:06:53

I think going out with friends is fine but going on a date when:
You are still hung up on your ex
You are still living with your ex
You have only been single a very short time
There are children involved
Is a bad move and will likely just end in heartache. Especially as you are living with his mother. I'm fairly sure dating in that circumstance is not going to end well at all.

You say you've been in an unhappy relationship for months. How long were you with the ex? I assume he is the father of the 1 year old as well? Assuming he is once you are properly apart and separated he will have contact presumably so you can use this time to start looking at dating etc without it affecting anyone else. If he is a good man he will wait a couple of months.

I think you need to take time to recover. Have your baby, get your housing sorted and THEN get back in the dating game.

Notjustapregnantlady Mon 21-Nov-16 13:09:33

Well I've just sent this text
Hey I'm really sorry but I don't think it's the right time to be meeting up with you. I've got so much to be thinking of at the moment, if further down the line when I've had the baby and I'm in my own place and stuff you still want to meet up that would be great. I just think it's bad timing that's all. Its nothing to do with you at all I just need to focus on my kids at the moment. I hope you understand xx

Trifleorbust Mon 21-Nov-16 13:10:14

Lovely, OP.

GrinchyMcGrincherson Mon 21-Nov-16 13:10:34

I think that's the right choice OP. Focus your efforts on getting out of your exes mothers house. You can do this. Use it as motivation to move on. Good luck.

Notjustapregnantlady Mon 21-Nov-16 13:16:02

Thank you all, just need to get through this next 7 weeks it's just so bloody hard living under the same roof as my ex and knowing he feels nothing sad

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