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I need a break!

(11 Posts)
palmadillio Mon 21-Nov-16 08:56:39

DH and I have had a lot going on over the last couple of months. We have both had problems in out workplaces and have been hugely stressed as a result, to the point where I have had a string of interviews for other jobs and finally have a new one, which I'll begin in 2 weeks.
My Aunt, who was like a mother to me growing up, is terminally ill in hospital and so all my spare time has been spent going to see her.
we recently moved house (literally just 2 weeks ago) and we've been really busy and stressed in relation to that.
Things are now beginning to settle down a little and I'm desperate to catch up with friends as it's been weeks. We have young DCs too, so having any leisure time has been quite frankly impossible.
Last night, I competent blew my top at DH after he re-packed one of the boxes I'd unpacked to empty out a drawer for some of my DCS toys! I was furious and in a rage, threw a toy at him l. I've never behaved like this before and feel so guilty as he's under so much pressure too, but it's taught me that I'm in need of a break and a bit of leisure time. I haven't even thought about the Xmas shopping and all of that still needs doing too!
However, I've no time for a break, as we currently have no cooker in the new house and we're set to fit a new kitchen this weekend OURSELVES! I've mentioned to DH that I think we get someone in to do it, that we've never fitted a kitchen before and we need a rest from all that has been going on. But DH is adamant that we are doing it ourselves. This means no beak. It means I will be solely looking after the DCS for the next 2 weekends which means no break and no Xmas shopping.
I think my outburst last night was a product of all this pressure we're under. I understand that DH wants to do the kitchen himself to save money, because he enjoys manual work etc etc. But I really need a break. We have no relatives close by to take care of the children, do it literally means me finding things to do with them on my own for the next 2 weekends away from the house and no kitchen for much longer than it would have been had we got a professional in to fit it.

DH won't hear any of it and snaps when I suggest we don't do it ourselves and have a break. I don't want to start being snappy with the children, as I already have with DH. I feel guilty already, as he really doesn't deserve it.

Cricrichan Mon 21-Nov-16 09:14:08

I agree with you buy if he's adamant, not sure what you can do. Are there any relatives or friends you could go and visit for the weekend and leave him home to do the kitchen in peace?

Cricrichan Mon 21-Nov-16 09:14:21

But not buy

Doublejeopardy Mon 21-Nov-16 09:18:18

Find a soft play where you can see the kids and have a coffee. Take them on saturday morning and set up camp. If needs be have a 'problem with the car' that means you end up being there all day???

hellsbellsmelons Mon 21-Nov-16 09:24:43

Are your relatives too far away for you to visit for a weekend?
Go on the Friday and back on the Sunday and have some leisure time for you if they will look after DC?
Are the DC OK in the car for you to manage that?

palmadillio Mon 21-Nov-16 09:30:16

My own parents are actually going away themselves, which is why we have no alternative childcare. I would love to get away but it will literally just be myself and the children. Is it better to be away with both children by ourselves or at home in the mess?

anxiousnow Mon 21-Nov-16 09:38:53

Sorry about your Aunt being so ill. Agree with others posters. Go to a soft play or if age appropriate the cinema and a pizza. There are lots of Christmas displays and free Christmas activities on at most shopping centres so you could even pick up a few presents. Made it a fun quality time with you and your DC's. Good luck.

Happybunny19 Mon 21-Nov-16 11:44:33

I do hardly any Christmas shopping going to the shops, almost everything is done online. That way we can do it any time of day (or often night) to work round family stuff and work. Do this, it beats fighting crowds of rude people.

You mention your parents are away, could you possibly stay at their house while your place is in a mess and you have limited cooking facilities?

For what it's worth I agree that you should have the kitchen fitted professionally, but your dh is adamant, so leave him to it.

pinkdelight Mon 21-Nov-16 14:01:42

If you're saving money on the kitchen fitting, and could actually pay for it, is it possible for you to pay for some childcare instead? Through Sitters or similar, so that he can fit the kitchen, a pro takes care of the kids, and you can go off for a break or xmas shopping or whatever you want to damn well do! He's insisting on what he's doing re the kitchen, fine. You insist on your own way re. the kids. You need this. It'll be an investment in your sanity and marital harmony!

palmadillio Tue 22-Nov-16 18:30:58

We could afford to pay for it which is very frustrating. We have money left over from the sale of our house, we have also made a huge saving by purchasing a cheaper house than we had planned to buy. It just seems silly not to take advantage of the money and use the time to relax a little, DH included.
Thanks for the ideas. I may look at taking the children on a little break, coupled with a bit of childcare. I think online shopping is the answer too, thanks. DH is usually very against me spending money online, but what the hell, he can't have it all his way and he's not going to get the Xmas shopping done is he!

bert3400 Tue 22-Nov-16 19:45:44

Take the kids to Centre Parcs and take a friend if you have one .

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