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How can I stop my imagination

(10 Posts)
freezingcold123 Mon 21-Nov-16 06:47:08

Nc for this

I've always had an active imagination and suffer from anxiety, when I was younger this was in the form of desperation anxiety but as I've got older it has taken the form of health anxiety, I offer sit and find myself falling into an imagined scenario where I'm dying, diagnosed with something, what my funeral would be like, what letters I'd write etc and I find it hard to pull myself out of these imagined scenarios even though they're upsetting!

Anyway, now in a fairly happy relationship I cannot stop imagining scenarios of him cheating, me finding messages on my phone, coming home unexpectedly and finding him with someone etc, I'll be sitting day dreaming about it, heart pounding, crying sometimes, knowing it's not true but being almost unable to stop myself going through the process of it in my head! I don't know if it's a form of self punishment, or if it's the opposite and it's my mind sort of practicing for something which I would say is worst case scenario (relationship wise) in order to be more prepared for it if it happens.

(He has not to my knowledge ever cheated nor has he given me reason to think he would/will)

Has anyone else had experience of this and if so were you able to manage it yourself? It doesn't impact on my relationship in the sense that i keep it to myself and it doesn't negatively affect how I am with dp but it seems I can't help but let myself indulge in it when the feeling comes sad

DisappointedPieEater Mon 21-Nov-16 07:01:32

"Intrusive thoughts" are common, normal even, but obviously not to this degree. Have you spoken to a doctor about your anxiety?

freezingcold123 Mon 21-Nov-16 07:38:45

I've had a few doctors visits over the years when it's been really bad but have never had any treatment per ce and I have not bothered going back as it is manageable day to day most of the time.

I never thought of it as intrusive thoughts although thinking about it now it seems obvious. Is that what you would say it was?

bluebell9 Mon 21-Nov-16 11:10:28

I can be like this and make myself upset over things that have never happened. I've found counselling helped me stop these thoughts and how to turn them into positives. I'll have a look tonight for some of the web links my counselor gave me to look at that might help you.

freezingcold123 Mon 21-Nov-16 11:17:59

Thanks bluebell, I guess I feel a bit silly about it because it's just my own mind I know it's ridiculous and I should just be able to stop thinking the stupid things but it's like I can't help it.

But I think if I'm honest I know myself that it is either a symptom of or a form of my anxieties and it's not healthy, I feel because it doesn't affect anyone else and it's only in my mind it's not that much of a problem

frieda909 Mon 21-Nov-16 11:35:06

I could have written this! I have an incredibly overactive imagination and pretty bad health anxiety too. I also suffer with intrusive violent thoughts at times which can be very distressing. I've gradually learned, though, that these thoughts are just that - thoughts - - and that they have no bearing on how I actually think or feel. Now when something unwanted crosses my mind I try to acknowledge it with a kind of 'well hello silly thought, thanks for stopping by' and then just move on. I find this works better than trying to dismiss it altogether, as the more you try not to think about something the more you'll just end up thinking about it!

I've had some awful imaginary scenarios about my partner play out in my head. He is honestly the best boyfriend anyone could ask for, and yet sometimes I'll work myself up into the most ridiculous tizz about things. I've got a lot better as our relationship has progressed, though. I think my lowest point was when he went back to his home town for a family funeral (!) and I managed to CONVINCE myself that he had bumped into his ex girlfriend while he was there, and that he had decided he still loved her and wanted to get back with her. I was lying in bed bawling my eyes out at the thought of him cheating on me, while he was at a bloody funeral...! Admitting that now makes me feel like the worst person in the world, and I know how ludicrous it sounds, but at the time I just couldn't help it.

I think it's natural - healthy, even - to play out all sorts of scenarios in your head, but you need to try to keep one foot in reality and recognise that what you're imagining is usually a million miles away from what's actually happening!

Mlb123 Mon 21-Nov-16 11:53:25

It's anxiety and it's also preparing for a what if as you know it would be so difficult to cope with if it ever happened. It is unlikely it will, but in the unlikely event your troubled psyche is attempting to be prepared in some way. Though of course it would in reality be far more devestating than when it's just a what if. Take care of yourself and if it helps keep talking to us and others that you have for support xx

QueenMortificado Mon 21-Nov-16 11:56:32

Place marking, I could've written this!

Sassypants82 Mon 21-Nov-16 14:54:10

Intrusive thoughts.. Would this include imagining unthinkably awful things happening to your child? Being snatched by a pedophile ring, falling into a body of water strapped in their buggy, killed by an intruder etc etc? I sometimes have thoughts like this & have to try so hard to push them from my head. It's torturous.

freezingcold123 Mon 21-Nov-16 15:23:52

Sassypants I also have these, imagining my DC dying or disappearing, when my DC was younger and I lived alone I used to imagine what would happen if something happened to me, my DC would just be wondering around the house alone, falling down stairs or eating poisonous things etc

My partner thinks it's a symptom of my overactive imagination, I can see where he's coming from but obviously he's no doctor/psychiatrist!

Just writing it down and discussing it honestly on here actually seems to have helped me today, maybe it just helps me see how ridiculous it is and that I'm not alone!

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