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my DH was seeing an escort

(18 Posts)
user1479679053 Sun 20-Nov-16 22:14:57


can anyone help me. Me and my husband have been married for 2.5 years and have two children (3yrs old boy and 4 months old girl). Today I've just discovered an email my husband sent to an escort 4 years ago to arrange a meeting. It was 1 month before our engagement. Im totally disgusted and feel sick and dont know what to do. I tried to challenge him and of course he was denying it. Anyone with similar experience here?

Euphemia Sun 20-Nov-16 22:19:19

How could he deny clear evidence?

c3pu Sun 20-Nov-16 22:21:44

If you expect your partner to be monogamous, then LTB.

Bluntness100 Sun 20-Nov-16 22:27:01

I'm also unsure how he can deny it if uou have the email?

clumsyduck Sun 20-Nov-16 22:29:57

Is the email clear in that it is from him to her ? Not some bollocks scam email ?? Can you print it /screenshot so he can't delete and keep denying ?!

If it's true it would be game over for me ! Sorry op but someone who can shag someone else at the same time as planning to propose is really not someone who values you

user1479679053 Sun 20-Nov-16 22:32:23

I've just told him that I knew he has done it.I did not show him the email yet. it is my next step. I was quite upset and heartbroken.

user1479679053 Sun 20-Nov-16 22:37:10

Yes, it is quite clear that he sent it from his email account to an independent escort. I took a photo of it with my camera. I am all the time in tears. And I feel sorry for our kids. We dont have anyone around so have to deal with it on my own. It was actually japanese escort and I've discovered two more emails sent to japanese escorts in the past before he met me.

SaltyBitch Sun 20-Nov-16 22:38:45

Whilst it is not a popular opinion on MN, I could probably forgive cheating.

I couldn't, however, be with a man who pays for sex. It is utterly abhorrent.

I think you know that you have to LTB.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sun 20-Nov-16 22:42:10

Why were you going through his emails from years ago?

Did you have suspicions of something?

re: what he did before he met you is really his business so isn't relevant.

clumsyduck Sun 20-Nov-16 22:46:38

It was a month before they got engaged not before they met

user1479679053 Sun 20-Nov-16 23:06:39

I had an inner feeling, something telling me that sth was not right. I even had nightmares with him cheating on me. Strange.
We met online and Ive discovered later that he actually joined quite a few dating websites.

Cricrichan Sun 20-Nov-16 23:10:15

Why did you go back so many years though?

user1479679053 Sun 20-Nov-16 23:10:27

I dont understand why he wanted to marry me at first place. He always contacted japanese escorts so why he did not find an asian girl if he was obsessed with them. he messed up with our lifes.

user1479679053 Sun 20-Nov-16 23:10:56


user1479679053 Sun 20-Nov-16 23:14:02

I found out that he had second gmail account. I did not check all emails. I've just wanted to see if he contacted escort from this account as he did it from the first one

Holly90 Sun 20-Nov-16 23:37:10

Have you shown him the picture you took?

user1479679053 Mon 21-Nov-16 00:09:58

No I have not done it yet but will do it soon.

SandyY2K Mon 21-Nov-16 00:23:21

You could stand firm and tell him you know what happened and demand the truth or else. But if you aren't actually going to divorce him, then you don't have much leverage.

If he admits it. ..what would you do?

There are ways to force his hand, but you need to know your next steps.

Do you think he's cheated during the marriage?

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