Marriage is over after 12 months

[MortonHarketsCheekBones]

My husband has announced that he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. Every time we row he threatens divorce. This time he says he means it.

He's lovely most of the time but any argument, however trivial turns into WW3 with him saying that he hates me and he wishes we had never got married. Apparently I'm a "psycho" if I disagree with him about anything.

Most arguments centre around my 12 year old son, who he clearly resents and doesn't like. He says my DS doesn't respect him. To be honest my DS doesn't really talk to my H very much but since we got married my H has been increasingly critical to my son. It's like he's looking for reasons to pick at him. As a consequence my son is either out or in his room.

I've found a tiny flat for me and my son to rent and I get the keys on the 2nd December.

But the atmosphere in this house is horrendous and I haven't eaten for three days. He's ignoring me completely. I wish I didn't have to be here at all but I've got another two weeks of this yet.

I feel sad that my second marriage has failed so quickly and that I'll be alone again.

[Cricrichan]

It's not your fault at all. He's a pathetic little man who's threatened by a 12 year old. You're doing the right thing xx

[Msqueen33]

Can you ask LL if you can move quicker? Could anyone stay with family? It's better to be out of the marriage than have it damage your son or your own mental health. Although it's horrible being alone it doesn't like much of a marriage. You should be able to talk things through and be reasonable. If he resents your son your son probably knows this. Which could really damage him.

Look after yourself and be kind to yourself x

[MortonHarketsCheekBones]

I've just got home after going out with some friends and the house was in darkness. He's here though as he's just started coughing upstairs. He hasn't even said hello or anything. I hate this and I can't wait for it to be over.

[AhNurts]

he sounds horrid :-( suspect he's done you a big favour and you mustn't beat yourself up. Just take one day at a time and try to move on. Think about seeing a counsellor and staying single for a good while so you can make sure that you are able to find something better down the line

[MortonHarketsCheekBones]

It's possible I could have the flat earlier but I need to organise removals etc. He's going to Tenerife in ten days (we were going together) so I can spend that week making sure I get everything out of the house that's mine.

[inlectorecumbit]

who owns/rents the house?

[MortonHarketsCheekBones]

The house is rented jointly but we're out of the contract now so I only need to give a months notice.

[inlectorecumbit]

good.. do you think he will make things difficult for you moving your stuff out? Is there anywhere you could store some smaller belongings just in case?
I think you are doing the right thing as regards your DS-- your STBXH sounds like a pathetic wee weasel. Dis he not show any resentment towards your DS before you got married or has he only now shown his true colours?
Either way good luck to you are your DS in your new home

[MortonHarketsCheekBones]

He used to be a lot more friendly with DS but it's like now he's a "step dad" he feels like he has to try and discipline DS, even if DS isn't actually doing anything wrong. He also hates my sons dad, who sees a lot of DS. Luckily he's also a bit wary of my first husband (god that sounds depressing) so I don't think he'll make any trouble about me moving my stuff out. He'll be on holiday when the actual move takes place in any event.

It's just the ignoring thing. It's horrible. I keep reminding myself that I'm at work next week and then it's one weekend to get through and then he goes away on the 1st December so it's not too long to put up with the atmosphere.

[OohhThatsMe]

Could you and your son visit family next weekend, just to get away from him?

[MortonHarketsCheekBones]

I don't have any family in this country. They all live in Spain now. My parents moved there about ten years ago and my brother lives there too now.

[OohhThatsMe]

Day trip somewhere on the Saturday? Perhaps a Christmas market or something?

[MortonHarketsCheekBones]

I'm seeing friends next weekend but I'm mindful that I don't want to leave DS in the house on his own with ex. Not that ex would do anything to DS but it would be awkward for DS who would just hide in his bedroom. So hopefully DS can either come with me or see his own friends.

[SandyY2K]

Your poor son. What a horrible step dad. The 2nd isn't too far away and your son will be at school as well during the week

Take care of yourselves.