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Can he take my kids? Pls help

(13 Posts)
Notgoodatall Sun 20-Nov-16 16:34:43

We've decided it's over this weekend. We have three kids under 5 with a baby not even 1 yet. Never married and house in his name. Im a SAHM and he just got made redundant. Currently looking for work.
He's told me I can get out now but the kids are staying with him. Can he do this to me? I can't stand the thought of it.
He's completely impossible and irrational. I only had 4 hours sleep last night with baby, who woke at 6. I kept him in bed to give DP a lie in until 7:30, he then proceeded to go to sleep again without offering me to go. When I complained he says he's sick of hearing me complain and I'm a waste of space. I took kids out yesterday and left him with baby so they had an outing, when I got home he was so angry he'd been left all day to look after the baby by himself. The baby is the most easiest happiest little fella you will meet. It's not me is it?

OohhThatsMe Sun 20-Nov-16 16:37:43

No, he can't do that.

Do you have somewhere to go to?

happypoobum Sun 20-Nov-16 16:38:10

You need legal advice.

It's bloody unlikely he would want the children given he can't even cope with a day with the baby, but as you aren't married, your situation is unfortunately precarious.

Is there anywhere you can go with the DC whilst the financials are sorted?

Crystal15 Sun 20-Nov-16 16:39:15

He's a selfish dick.

Notgoodatall Sun 20-Nov-16 16:39:42

He will literally have to physically remove me without my kids. Which I doubt he will. I said we need to have a chat about what we are going to do and he laughed at me.

stitchglitched Sun 20-Nov-16 16:42:50

You are in a very vulnerable position with no marriage and the house not in your name. Do you have anywhere you can go, such as family, with your children? If not then you should ring your local council's housing department. Explain your circumstances and that you and your DCs may need emergency accomodation. Whatever you do, don't move out without your children because with him not working he can quickly establish himself as their main carer and them living with him will become the status quo. He doesn't sound like he would want the children full time but don't underestimate what he may do out of spite.

BratFarrarsPony Sun 20-Nov-16 16:44:00

no that is not going to happen.
My ex used to say that to me...'you might as well just go and leave us alone'.
Like fuck.
Do you have any friends or parents with a spare room?

happypoobum Sun 20-Nov-16 16:44:05

Well if he won't discuss it and is laughing in yoru face you have no option but to act.

Is there anyone who would put you up whilst you get sorted? He will have to pay you once he is back at work but do you have any access to savings/joint account? I would take out whatever I needed and worry about it later.

prettywhiteguitar Sun 20-Nov-16 16:47:00

I think in your situation I would move out myself, is there anyone you can stay with ? Do you have any friends who can help you ?

Can you get him to leave ? Is he violent?

GoodEnough15 Sun 20-Nov-16 16:55:23

Of course he won't take them if he can't manage a baby for a few hours by himself. They all say that at the start. It's a tactic to keep you in your place for fear of losing the kids. DO you have family nearby for support?

GoodEnough15 Sun 20-Nov-16 17:14:33

Just to add, please remember to eat, even if it's only soup. I know you are tired but start getting organised first thing tomorrow. Find somewhere to live, get legal advice, apply for any benefits you are entitled to etc,. I can promise you it gets easier.

c3pu Sun 20-Nov-16 17:20:20

Unfortunately yes he can do that if the house is in his sole name. If he changed the locks while you were out you would be in a very position indeed.

Quite why he'd want to if he rages about looking after a baby for a day I really do not know, but if he is on the birth certificate then he has as much right to have the children live with him in the home he owns as much as you do.

Princesspinkgirl Sun 20-Nov-16 17:23:38

If I was you first thing tomorrow call your council for housing advice and also get a bag ready with yours and kids things is he on the birth certificates what ever you do don't leave the children even call your health visitor asking for them to visit she can support you and the children

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