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Exdp gf..

(13 Posts)
Minivaperviper Sun 20-Nov-16 16:25:02

Name changed as long time poster and lurker.

Need advice on what to do, background me and Exp split up many years ago(I instigated it) with no going back , it was an abusive and terrible rl and he was basically a drugged up cocktaillodger for many years.
We share a dc.

He has been with his current gf for maybe 2-3yrs and has a baby with her and he now has regular access to my dc owing to this rl as he has settled down and actually works.
When before he wasn't reliable.

Anyway a couple months ago she messaged me without him knowing warning me not to speak to him about anything other than my dc.
I thought best to ignore it and blocked her on the app and a few weeks later told him.
We are both aware she has a problem with me but I don't know why.

But again she has repeated the same message and I'm wondering whether I should respond or continue to ignore her.

For clarification I generally don't talk to him and if I do its through tx message of general mundane chit chat whilst making arrangement for our dc and I have no interest in him what so ever.

It's taken up until this past year for us not to have any animosity and to get along for dc sake whilst he has stepped up to the plate even though I don't get any maintenance but I don't really care about that as long as he takes part in dc life.

She is known as temperamental and possibly jealous. I don't know what goes on in their rl and don't want to know if anything has contributed to it but I don't want to be dragged in by her insecurities.

Should I respond or let xp deal with it if he even does.? Or should I really strictly stick to pick up drop off communication. I did actually try the first time she communicated but it slipped.

Cherrysoup Sun 20-Nov-16 16:29:24

Block her-why haven't you?? Ignore, but tell the ex that she has again messaged you with this stupid demand.

Minivaperviper Sun 20-Nov-16 16:38:45

Thanks cherry I think that might be the best way as I doubt there is anything I can actually say that will appease her even what I have said here.

I hadn't blocked her on mobile as I couldn't figure out how but recently I did so I will do it now.

It's difficult situation as all I want is a quiet and easy life without this creeping up.
We all live near each other so have pretend the other doesn't exist and I have to stand a fair distance from ex while he talks to my dc.

There's other incidents but can't say as may be too identifying but it's more than clear she doesn't want him within 10ft of me if she can help it.

anxiousnow Sun 20-Nov-16 18:34:48

I'd also ask your xp, if possible, where his gf would have got the impression of anything more going on?

SandyY2K Sun 20-Nov-16 18:37:48

I'd either ignore and block her or forward the message to your Ex, letting him know she sent it to you.

goddessofsmallthings Sun 20-Nov-16 18:52:50

I have to stand a fair distance from ex while he talks to my dc

FFS! Why are you going along with that? Presupposing you are all adults, this type of behaviour is ridiculous and is setting an appalling example for your dc.

You don't have get up close and personal but there's no reason why you shouldn't be within earshot of him and your dc unless they're having an intensely personal conversation, in which case they'd no doubt choose to do so when you weren't around.

Any issues the gf has are hers and hers alone. Take no notice and fgs claim child maintenace now he's working.

Trifleorbust Sun 20-Nov-16 19:02:45

I would totally and completely ignore her. Block her number and block her on social media. Tell your ex that you are doing this and you don't want to hear from his gf under any circumstances. She is nothing to do with you.

Minivaperviper Sun 20-Nov-16 19:35:31

Thanks for all your replies, it is childish I know and we are all in our 20''s and 30's. The staying a distance away is because it's quite evident she is volatile so if we bump into each other in public I let my dc speak to her dad then signal it's time to go after a moment or two, it has never been said as a rule.

I was picking dc up once and my ex was a few ft away just chatting whilst I fixed a flat tyre and she came along her immediate reaction was to yell at him to get away from me and storm off. It is bizarre but I will ask ex if there is anything specific that has caused her to be like this and to keep me out of it.

Most likely something has been said or fed to her insecurities or whatever it is but I don't want to be involved and I totally agree it can't be good for the dc in the long run.

My ex is no wallflower so I hope he will deal with it, other than this there is no concern for my dc whilst she is with her dad she is happy to go, doesn't report and I don't ask.

There is honestly nothing from my end that's led to this imo. As for maintenance it might be something il go for in future,
He will give me money when I specifically ask for it for dc for the moment.

I will block on social media too and let my ex know that she isn't to contact me.

Jinglebellsandv0dka Sun 20-Nov-16 19:40:52

She sounds batshit!! Just ignore don't get dragged in to her head fuck. Mention it to ex and let him deal with it!

Minivaperviper Sun 20-Nov-16 19:42:46

Ooft sorry for the epic posts

abbsisspartacus Sun 20-Nov-16 19:45:34

Give her one warning that her communication is unwanted and you will contact the police if she persists?

Or tell him back her off

Minivaperviper Sun 20-Nov-16 19:55:08

Jingle batshit is the word for it.

This whole situation surpasses my level of understanding, I can't grasp why people behave this way Inc my ex but then I'm much more laid back about these things, not saying I can't get jealous or insecure but I wouldn't lay it on other people
I hope.

I will definitely tell him to get her to back off from me, it's the only way unless it escalates. confused

jeaux90 Sun 20-Nov-16 21:19:53

If she is impacting your ability to effectively co parent your ex needs to handle it. She sounds like a nutjob!!

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