Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

He spat in my face.

(69 Posts)
ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Sat 19-Nov-16 18:46:03

Yeah, I know, I absolutely need to resolve our very fucked up contact arrangements, but tonight, my ex spat in my face in front of DS. I feel really humiliated and ashamed. We have been separated since May but I think this is the wake up call to change things. I don't want to have to see him any longer. I thought I was doing the decent thing with the 'open door' policy but this has been a bit of a shock. He literally leaned forward and then said "You deserve it". He cheated on me. I really don't know how to process this. I absolutely know I don't deserve it, but WTF?

CrazyDuchess Sat 19-Nov-16 18:48:05

Fucking hell Jess flowers

Call the police? That's assault!

And def the end of your open door policy! Do you have a contact arrangement in place??

passwordprotectednews Sat 19-Nov-16 18:49:09

Really sorry, call the police, that's battery.
What a nasty man. Hope you are okay.

Teepish Sat 19-Nov-16 18:50:10

What a cunt. My H has form for this - also separated. I am sure spitting in your face is enough for police involvement - now dont quote me on that as it doesnt seem enough - I hope another poster can help.
So sorry you have to deal with this shit my love. flowers

Im0gen Sat 19-Nov-16 18:50:30

What a bastard shock

I'm sorry Jess, you've tired to be reasonable for your sons sake and this is how he treats you.

WatchingFromTheWings Sat 19-Nov-16 18:50:48

As pp have said, it's assault. Report the pig.

QueenLaBeefah Sat 19-Nov-16 18:50:50

The police will take this very seriously.

Teepish Sat 19-Nov-16 18:50:55

Didnt see other posts! Call police and get him done.

ThatStewie Sat 19-Nov-16 18:51:14

Call the police. Report it as assault. Then refuse to do hangovers with him. Use a contact centre or a friend but make him do the arranging.

OohhThatsMe Sat 19-Nov-16 18:52:06

He's disgusting and he's committed a criminal offence. Don't let him get away with this - call the police.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Sat 19-Nov-16 18:52:51

I'm honestly ok; he's always been a twat, but. I don't think it's a police matter. I just feel sort of degraded. My neighbour's witnessed it and were a bit "What the fuck", but they have a few scraps anyway.

BratFarrarsPony Sat 19-Nov-16 18:53:15

that is abusing your DS as well as you.
Report and stop contact.

Longdistance Sat 19-Nov-16 18:54:33

It is a police matter.

QueenLaBeefah Sat 19-Nov-16 18:55:02

The police will take it even more seriously if you have a witness. Your ex needs a stern talking to at the very least. What's to stop him spitting in your face again (or worse). Your DS also needs to know that daddy can't just do as he damn well pleases and that actions have consequences.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Sat 19-Nov-16 18:58:01

Seriously? It's a criminal offence? I sort of feel worse now. I can't see the police doing much. He spat in my face but didn't physically hurt me as such. It was the humiliation that upset me more than anything , especially in front of DS.

OohhThatsMe Sat 19-Nov-16 18:58:38

OP, you really must report him. If he did that to a stranger, he'd be in trouble. If you don't report him, he'll think he can do whatever you want to you. Put him in his place now.

43percentburnt Sat 19-Nov-16 19:01:31

You probably don't want to call the police for fear of rocking the boat. I promise you he will not improve. Not reporting him won't make the situation improve. However much he despises you (he does despise you) you are his child's mother, his behaviour is vile. If a stranger spat in your face you'd report it.

Reporting him will mean you can look to have neutral hangovers. You can draw a line in the sand with being amicable etc. he will never be a decent person. You need to protect yourself and your child. (Will he spit in the face of a new girlfriend in front of ds?).

Get this on record. Get a non molestation order, use a contact centre. Being nice to him isn't working, stopping informal contact is the way forward.

If you aren't claiming your full CMS amount for fear of rocking the boat - call them too.

allthatnonsense Sat 19-Nov-16 19:01:57

How vile. I truly hope that he gets his back tenfold.

Chin up, stand proud, don't let the actions of an an utter scummer drag you down.

43percentburnt Sat 19-Nov-16 19:03:13

Hand overs not hangovers! Though having a hangover would be preferable to being within 40 foot of this man!

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Sat 19-Nov-16 19:03:15

Thanks for all the kind words: I felt humiliated more than anything but yeah. Time to rethink think things. Not keen on getting police involved but yeah, he's been a twat for a while now.

passwordprotectednews Sat 19-Nov-16 19:04:27

Please don't let him get away with it. He needs to learn a lesson that he can't go around abusing you in front of your son. Take care, you have nothing to be ashamed of. The shame is his.

OohhThatsMe Sat 19-Nov-16 19:04:57

Of course you don't want to get the police involved, but surely you can see he's been really nasty to you, spat in your face in front of witnesses and would hate to have to answer to the police. Do you really think he'd spare you anything if you did something illegal to him?

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Sat 19-Nov-16 19:05:00

Would the police really take this seriously though, I know it's awful but don't they have worse things to worry about on a Saturday night?

43percentburnt Sat 19-Nov-16 19:05:44

Yes it's a crime. You can't spit in someone's face. he is also abusing your child - domestic violence in front of a child is child abuse.

NoSunNoMoon Sat 19-Nov-16 19:06:46

Please contact the police. It can only get worse.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now