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What would happen to dc in this situation?

(10 Posts)
Mamaka Sat 19-Nov-16 10:09:39

I want to know what is the most likely outcome for residence of my dc if I divorced my dh.
They are 4.5 and 2.5. I am primary carer - at home full time until last May, now work 3 days a week. Dh works 5 days a week. Older dc is at school, little one goes to nursery 2 of my 3 days at work and grandma's the other day. I'm with him the other 2 days. I do all drop offs and pick ups.

alwayshappy101 Sat 19-Nov-16 10:27:24

I think courts still favour the dc's living with the mum.the fact that you work less than the dad will surely work in your favour.

Mamaka Sat 19-Nov-16 11:16:47

I keep hearing that 50/50 is standard now but I thought with the littlest being so young and dh working full time it might be different.

MrsBertBibby Sat 19-Nov-16 11:36:12

What do you think would be best for them?

What do you think you husband will want?

Mamaka Sat 19-Nov-16 15:56:46

Well I obviously am biased and think they'd be better off spending more time with me, as their primary attachment is to me and their dad is a bit useless. He doesn't brush their teeth and he feeds them crap etc. He also has little patience. But i know he would want 50/50 or even more time with him so that he could "win".

statetrooperstacey Sat 19-Nov-16 17:01:59

My ex and I went thru family court when kids were 3 and 8, he wanted 50/50 i did not, thought 3 was too young. He was given 5 nights within every fortnight, also half holidays . I
If your starting point was going to b every other weekend then I would rethink as that will be considered too little. Try and sort it between yourselves if possible and stay out of court if it can be avoided. Good luck

Mamaka Sat 19-Nov-16 17:50:46

No I think eow would not be enough for our dc, they would miss him too much. But equally I think 50/50 would be too much time away from me to be in their best interests. I like the sound of 5 days out of 14, so around a 3rd. How do you organise it? Is it random nights or 5 nights in a row?

May50 Sat 19-Nov-16 18:02:11

For me when my DC were 2 and 4 we did EOW Fri pm through to Sun evening, then every Wed pick up from school/ nursery overnight and he dropped at school Thurs am. Plus half all holidays . Worked well. And phone call every evening.

c3pu Sat 19-Nov-16 18:18:23

Difficult to predict, it depends a lot on who would be living where and what's practical and achievable.

If one of you lives too far away to take them to school all the time, it makes it difficult for shared care to work.

statetrooperstacey Sat 19-Nov-16 18:26:31

Every 6 months/year I would be given the dates in advance, he worked shifts so got to pick them to suit him. Thanks court.! So it varied really some times it would be a block of 2 then a block of 3 other times all five in row. I had no say in it.

However, child care in the holidays was much easier and cheaper as he had insisted on halfgrin I know he struggled with it sometimeshalo shame.
Anyway, it actually worked quite well in the end as we all new what we doing months in advance, everything went on a huge wall planner, even pick up and drop off times were down. Also meant we had to communicate less!

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