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Last night I found condoms and viagra while cleaning out garage

(162 Posts)
MindFuckDailyMailisshit Sat 19-Nov-16 07:04:54

Second marriage of 12 years. We are in our 50s. We've had our ups and downs with a particularly bad year in 2015 when my husband became withdrawn and depressed due to work problems.
Things have improved and I thought we were happy. I don't see very much of him as he works away and has elderly parents he visits on Saturdays ( when I tend to spend time with my elderly mother).
He's generally good company although will not go on holiday or away for weekends due to his work commitments and his parents. He is unaffectionate and due to his depression our sex life has suffered but I've been trying to get that back on track. Yesterday I was cleaning out the garage and his sports bag was open and there was viagra and condoms.he has never needed to use condoms with me as I had the coil. I asked him last night and he said he bought the viagra to spice up our sex life. He said he bought the condoms by accident in a pub machine by pressing the wrong button.
I'm absolutely heartbroken. He says it's the truth and his behaviour was a whim he can't explain. He has apologised and said he will do anything to save the marriage. I've been awake all night and I don't know what to do.

pullingmyhairout1 Sat 19-Nov-16 07:06:57

How can you buy condoms from a condom machine by accident?

KateInKorea Sat 19-Nov-16 07:07:01

Pressed the wrong button? .... so he was actually trying to get tampons?

SmileAndNod Sat 19-Nov-16 07:09:06

Pressed the wrong button? Was he trying to get the viagra? That (or a version of) is sold in those machines

MoreGilmoreGirls Sat 19-Nov-16 07:12:41

We're any of the tablets or condoms gone from the packers? Sorry you are going through this it is highly suspicious. Why are they hidden in a bag in the garage if he's not up to jo good?

NickyEds Sat 19-Nov-16 07:14:32

He's either seeing someone else or planning to. Sorry op.

Blueisnotforglue Sat 19-Nov-16 07:14:47

Pressed the wrong button,put them in his pocket, brought them home and hid them in the garage next to the viagra?

Seems likely.

PoldarksBreeches Sat 19-Nov-16 07:16:10

They don't sell viagra in pub machines do they confused never been in a men's loo but viagra is a prescription drug.
What was he trying to buy? In the ladies loo those machines sell condoms and tampons.

Blueisnotforglue Sat 19-Nov-16 07:18:22

OP you say you thought you were happy...

He's unaffectionate
You spend hardly any time together
He refuses to go away with you

This is not a happy marrriage. I only really shout LTB for abuse so I won't do it now but I'm going to guess that 2015 was the year he was having an affair. He's hidden the stuff in the garage and forgotten about it. He now thinks you are a complete mug who will buy his "wrong button" story.

whirlygirly Sat 19-Nov-16 07:19:05

There is no reasonable explanation. Don't try and convince yourself otherwise- it leads to madness.

You deserve the truth so you can make an informed decision about what to do. I'm sorry

Blueisnotforglue Sat 19-Nov-16 07:19:22

Herbal viagra is sold in men's loos (in other words some crappy Spanish fly/caffeine tablet)

Fairylea Sat 19-Nov-16 07:31:41

confusedhmm what else comes out of a condom machine? Why would he keep them if that was the case?

Inthenick Sat 19-Nov-16 07:33:51

You know he's lying. So the question is what is your next move.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops Sat 19-Nov-16 07:36:49

He's cheating or plans to. You know that right? flowers

DrMorbius Sat 19-Nov-16 07:47:18

In pub toilets they have condoms, herbal viagra and cock rings usually.

ciswhitemale Sat 19-Nov-16 07:54:04

He's lying. Sorry, but the story doesn't add up.

FannyWisdom Sat 19-Nov-16 07:57:35

Sorry Mind I think he's either having casual hook ups or planning to.

Dig, and dig more.
The ease of hooking up changed the game.

I speak for myself as well now, we need to grasp that it doesn't have to be a full on affair. He doesn't have to be out or suspect he can do it from his pocket while we make a brew.

Pressed the wrong button.
That's an insult, what was he buying a crunchie?

Ellisandra Sat 19-Nov-16 08:06:11

If you can be bothered with what more twisted crappy lies he tries to get away with, ask him what he was trying to buy. Then ask him where.
And only after that, tell him to go and take a photo of the machine.

I agree with PP who said that the difficult 2015 wasn't work, it was him cheating.

Sorry OP flowers

Oblomov16 Sat 19-Nov-16 08:20:50

A crunchie?
Sorry op, but this really is bullshit though, isn't it? You KNOW that, right?

AyeAmarok Sat 19-Nov-16 08:25:30

He says it's the truth and his behaviour was a whim he can't explain. He has apologised and said he will do anything to save the marriage.

This doesn't really tally with the explanation of accidently pressing the wrong button on a condom machine.

Sorry OP. I'd make your decision based on the more likely explanation.

Bluntness100 Sat 19-Nov-16 08:31:21

Hmmm, this isn't good really, he doesn't really live with uou, does he? He's away more than he's there, and in addition he doesn't want to go on holidays etc and now you find viagra and condoms in his bag.

He's clearly having sex with someone else, or planning too. Viagra is a prescription drug so he has clearly planned that in advance. If he bought condoms by mistake, then why keep them, and next to his viagra.

The good news is he's denying it and wants to save the marriage. But to be honest, I'm not sure why, it doesn't really see, like a marriage to me. More like part time house sharing. Sorry, 💐

PinkiePiesCupcakes Sat 19-Nov-16 08:34:06

Are they branded Viagra?
I ask only through experience of men's loos.

In the machines therein they often sell different things.
Column A sometimes has Viagra knockoff, herbal pills, some are blue and shaped just like Viagra but have no chemical element.

Column b has the condoms and sometimes a column C sells mints or little things you chew to clean your teeth, normally a safe option invade someone walks in the loo as your at the machine, cause men are easily embarrassed.

So it may be a stretch, but it is not beyond the realm of absolute possibility that he is telling the truth. The only thing that's a concert is the hiding? If he'd bought them for spicing things up then why hide them? Unless the bag was his work bag and he just stuffed them in their and was working up the courage to tell OP?

Seems a bit odd though.

MindFuckDailyMailisshit Sat 19-Nov-16 08:43:58

Ten years ago I found a stick it with a website address in his wallet. It was for a no strings hook up for sex site. He told me then a) it wasn't his writing (yes it was!)
b) It had "fallen off the computer screen, that someone had put there as a joke, into his wallet
c) he was looking at a profile a "friend" was hooking up with
This scenario is reminding me of the latest incident

I didn't believe him last time but my dad was in a hospice terminally ill and I didn't have the strength to deal with it.

LostAtSea2 Sat 19-Nov-16 08:45:27

How many condoms in the packet? Those machines only dispense packs that contain 1-3 condoms

MindFuckDailyMailisshit Sat 19-Nov-16 08:46:12

No they are not branded viagra. There are two different types of condoms, Durex in sports bag and I found a Mates in another bag.

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