My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

HAs anyone moved out whilst partner/husband was away

5 replies

user1479305498 · 16/11/2016 14:35

I am wondering if anyone has gone as far as moving out whilst a partner/husband was away with work, leaving a letter and taking a fair bit of stuff with them. We have had issues for a while and both of us know things are not 100% right , no kids at home now but trust has evaporated on my part. .Whilst not physically violent to me my husband has a terrible temper and has been known to throw stuff around etc and I think it wont be a calm and reasoned discussion. If I leave stuff there I suspect we might be into "destroy" territory unfortunately, not my stuff but general stuff in frustration.. There is a lot at stake, we work together at the moment etc. I am at the moment not sure whether to go away for a few days so I am away when he returns and come back a few days letter when he has digested what i am saying or go the full monty and take my stuff. I am not 100% sure at the moment if I want to divorce etc or have 6 months on my own to clear my head and see how I feel.

OP posts:
Report
hellsbellsmelons · 16/11/2016 15:09

With those choices and what you say about him then I would go the full monty and just get out with my belongings.
If you can't have a reasonable discussion with him then there's no point trying.
Cut and run now while you can.

Report
YesItsMeIDontCare · 16/11/2016 15:11

I moved out while XH was at work. Parents turned up to help at 8:30am and we were done by 5pm. I then waited for XH to come home while my dad hovered, said bye and left.

Report
Sparkesx · 16/11/2016 19:08

I did.

My ex had been physically abusive, cheated, lied and stolen money from me. I had it all planned for weeks. I'd booked a holiday to Dubai with my best friend beforehand so I was out the country when he knew (he would definitely have come looking for me!).

He went to work around 6.30am, I kissed him goodbye. My best friend came over at 7am, we loaded our cars with my belongings and took them to my parents. That night I changed my number and we travelled to the hotel near the airport stayed over and 7am we boarded the flight to Dubai for a ten day holiday. Bliss. Grin

Best thing I ever did. Two and a half years on I still say that's the best day of my life so far!!!!

Report
flirtygirl · 16/11/2016 21:29

I dream about doing this but dont know if i can, in my case its a full house to pack up and 2 dc to disapear with. I think i minimised too much for too long and a thread i had on aibu really woke me up. Im going to do the freedom plan and then one day hopefully, poof ill be gone.
So op do it and let us know.

Report
Bogeyface · 16/11/2016 21:43

You say you are not sure you want a divorce.

Realistically, what do you want? For him to realise what he stands to lose and change his ways? You know that wont happen dont you?

If you want to leave then I think it has to be 100% or nothing.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.