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Struggling to cope with (life) changes

(2 Posts)
bingbong02 Wed 16-Nov-16 12:23:30

Not sure where to put this, I do think it's maybe anxiety as well as maybe how people would usually feel in this situation but I feel so worried about the future just now.

Dh is in the forces, we live hours from "home" (where we grow up and our Familes are) we have a good life here with good military friends and the kids are happy in school and mix well with the civilian kids. Ds has sn and getting loads of help in the run up to his exams.

Dh has just been informed his unit will be moving next summer, moving isn't a option for the kids and I to where he will be going. My husband and friends will all be moving and I will be left here myself and I'm so surprised by how hard it has hit me.

There is a slight chance dh will get a job close to me but not confirmed but even still I'll be losing all my friends.

My options are to either stay where I am which is a nice area and the kids are settled and as there is no way ds can move to new post I would be allowed to retain my quarter but I can't bare how lonely it would be or I try and move back "home" uprooting all the kids but would sort out support for ds and us all starting again with family close by.

The area we are from though isn't the greatest and I think the kids would resent losing all their friends and the area we live in now.

I'm on the edge of tears and can't think what to do for the best. How do you start all over again at nearly 40 years old. How do you make a whole new social circle for yourself when you don't have babies to take to groups etc.

MatildaTheCat Wed 16-Nov-16 13:17:59

I think I would try to stay where you are. You get the stability for the DC and the area plus dh might be nearby. You'd have to make a real concerted effort to make new friends. I presume there are welcoming groups and so on for new military people you could join? Offer your services to help people settle in. Maybe make more effort outside of that world, too and volunteer at school for PTA etc?

Do your DC have school play dates where you could get to know other parents better? Or just general school gate chat, suggest a coffee type thing? If they are too old for you at school then maybe other local volunteer roles?

If all that fails you still have the option of moving nearer family left open.

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