Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is this the start of something, or the end?

(5 Posts)
Whathappensnowthen Wed 16-Nov-16 02:13:24

Bit of background: friends for a while with a lovely chap, started a bit of flirting over text message etc. After a few months we finally kissed and since then we've developed a relationship of sorts. I say "of sorts" because we both said initially that we weren't wanting a big romance (both recently out of long-term relationships) so it was more of a friend's with benefits situation. Which was fine, until I realised I was falling for him. I didn't think he felt that way about me, so I reluctantly told him I couldn't carry on with our set-up as I'd developed feelings for him. He got pretty upset about that and said he has developed feelings too but he's not sure if he's ready for a proper relationship. The last few days we have cooled things a bit, but he has been more attentive, as in, asking if I got home from work ok etc. He said he wanted to show his caring side, that he was interested in more than just one thing.

Sooo, he said we need to have a proper talk about our situation, and now I'm starting to panic! I don't want to lose him and I'm worried if I come across too "full-on" that's what will happen. When he said about cooling things off a bit I thought that was it, but then his comment about wanting to show his caring side - I just don't know what to think now! I feel this is a make or break situation and could really do with some advice on how to handle it. Thank you.

kitschisabeautifulword Wed 16-Nov-16 06:47:28

He's not ready, you're not ready. He doesn't want to come across as a user and that's why he's showing you how caring he can be.

My view is walk away before you get hurt if you can't just do the FWB.

Shayelle Wed 16-Nov-16 07:24:43

Have the talk, hear what he has to say and go from there? No point stressing when you havent even spoken yet.
Update us smile

Cricrichan Wed 16-Nov-16 08:06:00

You both crossed a friendship line when you slept together and you both like each other so I don't see why you should cool things off tbh. Like at the beginning of any relationship, things could get serious or you realise that you're not compatible or that you care about each other but aren't in love with each other. There is no need to set things out in stone at the beginning.

However, have a chat with him and promise each other you'll let the other know if you realise that actually your feelings are more those of a friend than a lover.

Whathappensnowthen Wed 16-Nov-16 10:33:49

Thanks for the replies. I'm in no hurry to rush into anything serious, but by the same token, I don't want to ruin something that could be potentially really good. I guess I'll just have to see what he says...

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now