Hi just after a bit of support because really struggling at the moment.
I'd been with my ex dp for almost 12 years, we are both women and have two children conceived through iui. We've been together since we were at school. In the summer this year, I noticed that she was becoming really distant and really rude to me all the time. She stopped talking to me and would say that she wished I hadn't come home from work. Days out she wouldn't walk with me, just completely ignoring me. I kept trying to talk with her, booked a night away but she was distant even there and just refused to go to the cinema or anything there, just lay down and went to sleep at 9pm.
Fast forward to September I kept asking her what was wrong and saw a guy messaging her a lot on social media. I confronted her and she admitted that she did like someone and had done so since July and no longer wanted to be with me. She said that she was going through a midlife crisis and didn't know what she wanted.
The house was jointly rented but she made it so hard for me to be there but would not leave so as the higher earned I moved out.
It's been 6 weeks now and we have joint 50-50 shared care of the children though I do tend to have them more. She has all the tax credits and child benefit for them. She sends me messages bragging about how much money she has and the Xmas presents she has brought when I have no money now because just trying to live.
When we first split up she told everyone I was making the up the cheating and generally bad mouthed me to everyone. Now without warning she has put on Fb that she is in a relationship with this guy. All her friends and most of her family are saying congratulations to her on there and he is being the big guy and basically saying on there that he turned her because he is so great in bed. Everyone can see this and I just feel so embarrassed and low. She has the kids a lot of the time and I know the speed she is going he will have moved in soon. I feel like I don't really have a role with the children anymore as they will have a mum and step dad and I don't really fit in. I am so worried I am going to lose them. I can tell that she doesn't see that I need to have them too, she doesn't see why I would like to have my daughter on her birthday for the afternoon for example.
I thought I was ok and I was coping well but her telling everyone and them congratulating her has just tore me apart. She is so vile to me now, sends me nasty texts and sits in the car when she drops the kids off so she doesn't have to see me. I am really struggling with it, 12 years and didn't even tell me personally she was with this guy.
I don't even know why I am posting this because it is quite identifying, just feel like I need support because even going to work today feels like a struggle.
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Coping with DP living for man
21 replies
Lostrunner · 14/11/2016 06:51
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