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How to support friends on the rocks?

(1 Post)
user1477282676 Sat 12-Nov-16 09:48:15

DH and I are very good friends with a couple who've been having issues for the past ten years due to his infidelity back then.

They have been together for 18 years and have DC under 12.

They seemed to get over it at first but now she's telling me she wants to leave him...that she's very close to it and just wants to work out how to do it.

He in the meantime complains to DH about her all the time....DH and I tell one another what's been said...but never repeat to the couple iyswim.

It's hard because we can see that the man in question is at fault....he's very thoughtless and she's doing ALL the work in their business whilst he stays at home instead of coming out helping her....he moans and shouts too....she says he's hardly ever nice to her unless she is over the top nice to him.

We like him when he is at his best but DH and I can both see that he is having a detrimental affect on her.

It's so hard not to say anything to HIM...but of course it's not our place. If they split we selfishly think about how it will change our more cosy little nights or breakfasts as a foursome....obviously she is more my mate than he is but DH is more mates with HIM.

What will happen? How best to support? I am aware that just because she moans about her DH, I should not also be negative about him...

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