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Advice on moving on and becoming non fussed over a man please!

(9 Posts)
Stickytoffeepuddings Sat 12-Nov-16 08:40:14

Ahhrrrhh!! I'm annoying myself with this! I need to move on and struggling... had a brief relationship, not even really, he initiated it, dated for just over 3 months, he then realised he wasn't ready, impossible to do no contact, as same social circle, a couple of months after we broke up, at a party and kissed again. So my problem...another party coming up and trying to make sure I resist his advances..I know I need to and it is for my own benifit, as I want more than this.... he doesn't so I need to say no, but how! Even when he messages me I'm still all a flutter!! I am trying to avert my attention (in my mind) onto a previous crush, and looking for a new crush but he is still Taking up too much of my head space...I try and focus on his bad points... I feel like I'm my own worst enemy at the minute, want to be at a point where I feel non fussed by him.... any tips and advice to get to this point would be hugely appreciated, as I'm getting no where fast!! Thank you

Racerback Sat 12-Nov-16 08:44:42

He initiated it, then broke up with you, and now keeps messaging you and hits on you every time you're at a party together?

He's a twat, and he's playing you like a cheap fiddle.

The only thing you owe this man is your contempt.

Racerback Sat 12-Nov-16 08:45:56

You don't need to be in a constant state of 'crushing' on a man. Until you realise this you will be vulnerable to these wankers.

greenfolder Sat 12-Nov-16 08:46:18

Do you have a good friend who can keep you on track at the party?

Racerback Sat 12-Nov-16 08:51:19

My comments were a tad harsh OP, but I've found that humiliation is a powerful motivator. This man is making you look desperate and foolish in front of your friends. He does not have your best interests at heart.

ClaudiaApfelstrudel Sat 12-Nov-16 08:56:06

he probably thinks you're a moron who he can pick up and throw away as he sees fit - do you need anymore reasons to kick him in to touch?

Stickytoffeepuddings Sat 12-Nov-16 10:41:19

The harsher the better, my head completely agrees, just haven't managed to convince my heart... working on it though, good idea re asking friend, there is one, a force not to be reckoned with... will get her on board, unfortunately our closest friends would love to see us together so not helpful!

Olympiathequeen Sat 12-Nov-16 11:30:04

If you are happy to be regarded by this man as a free shag then go ahead a drink too much at the party and sleep with him.

Have you ever considered that life isn't all about falling for one guy after another and that being the only focus and importance of your world? Shallow?

You asked for harsh.

jeaux90 Sat 12-Nov-16 13:20:00

Sounds like you over invested your emotions in this guy because you want a happy healthy relationship. Remind yourself that is not what is on offer here, and honestly he sounds like a bit of a nob xx

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