I am a guy wanting some advice on child access after a difficult divorce. I know I need to see my solicitor, but I am hoping he isn’t going to tell me my only option is a child contact centre. If it is then I don’t need to pay £175 plus VAT to be told this, so any advice welcome, thank you.
I divorced my wife 4 years ago now. I admit I did leave her for another woman who is and always was the love of my life. My ex wife was obviously very bitter and angry, but I have been more than fair with regards to child access and financial provision. After about 3 months she allowed me to see our two young children and I had them every other weekend and a night in the week. This was all fine and we were beginning to be amicable until me and my girlfriend move in together 9 months later. She then stopped access again and I took her to court to get a formal agreement. It was granted and we went back to the same routine. Since then she has made my life hell on every pick up and drop off, I have just put up with it and tried to make it as smooth as possible and not engaged with her shouting and name calling etc. I will not argue with her, especially not in front of the children.
In the summer, my girlfriend and I married and that’s when all the trouble started. The first contact I had after we married my ex wife seemed ok. The next fortnight when I turned up to drop the children back to her she came out of the house and charged at the car, she opened the car door and starting getting our youngest out of his seat belt. This is unusual as I usually just take them to the door and knock etc. She had clearly been waiting for us. She started yelling at me and my wife, who was in the passenger seat, our youngest became scared and started crying. Ex wife got frustrated as she couldn’t undo the seat belt and started getting angry and shouting at my wife’s son who was sat next to our son in the back. I just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible so I said ‘here let me do it’ and tried to help her undo the car seat buckle for her. By now all three kids were scared and crying. It all happened so fast but she yelled at me to f off or something and then elbowed me in the head. She got our youngest out of the car seat and barged past me, I was still being over a bit dis-orientated as she had caught the corner of my eye. She then slammed the back car door into my head, twice I think. I don’t really remember much next but my wife got our other child out of the car and came running round to me, ex wife then threw a toy our youngest was holding at my wife and split her lip open. She then went back in and that was that.
I am still in shock about it if I’m honest and feel awful for my kids. Anyway, my wife and I called the police as we were worried for the children. They actually arrested her and dragged her away and locked her up overnight apparently. Fast forward and she was charged with two counts of assault.
I have not been able to see my children since as she was issued with a non-molestation order against me which means she cannot come near within so far of me and my house. I have emailed her several times and told her that I want to put the past behind us and I still want to see my children. I have asked her if her mother or sister would facilitate the pickup and drop off at their houses, but even when a solicitor wrote to her she will not agree to this.
Is my only chance to see my children now through a visitation centre? I am gutted. This would mean only seeing them 3 hours a week!
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Relationships
Advice needed on access to my children following ex wife's behaviour.
CAES · 11/11/2016 14:39
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