Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Rude work colleague

(26 Posts)
purpleliquorice Thu 10-Nov-16 17:32:04

There is one work colleague I've never liked very much and who clearly dislikes me. Weve never been overtly open about this but it's very obvious. For a period of time, I felt bullied by her as I was going through a difficult time, which she played on hugely to her own advantage and she would have subtle digs at me in the office when she could.
Fast forward a few years and we're in different offices now, we see each other from time to time but avoid each other when we can. I don't even acknowledge her if I pass her in the staffroom anymore. I think she's extremely insecure and seems to compare herself to other people, she's also very judgemental and 2 faced. I tend to keep my head down and get on with my work, avoiding office politics at all costs.
Anyway, yesterday I was having a conversation with a mutual work colleague in a seperate office when the colleague I dislike walked in. She didn't acknowledge myself or the conversation we were already having and began talking to the mutual work colleague without saying excuse me or waiting until we'd finished speaking.
She has behaved like this before with another mutual work colleague and they too noticed her rudeness. This time however was with a good friend of hers so I didn't feel in a position to ask her to wait until I'd finished my conversation with her before steaming in and being rude.
I stood waiting for around 10 minutes for this conversation to end before I could proceed with the conversation of already been having with the mutual work colleague. The rude colleague ignored my presence the whole time. How can I avoid this from happening in future without things becoming too confrontational or uncomfortable?

Shayelle Thu 10-Nov-16 17:37:16

Theres always one in the office......

JennCardiff Thu 10-Nov-16 17:43:26

Why wait ten mins for this child to finish. Clear your throat , say "ah ah hold ya horses precious!" And crack on!
Seriously though She sounds like one sad little puppy ! I'm not as mature as you sound so I think I'd just smile, nod and comment "aw bless" to whoever she was talking to. I'm all for fighting fire with fire tbh but on this occasion, I'd have to sneakily maintain seemingly high ground by going all out with the smiles and nods. If you get nervous or uncomfortable around her just picture her naked ! You know like they say to at job interviews? Totally works. Xxx

Myusernameismyusername Thu 10-Nov-16 17:47:37

Personally I would have just said over the top of her 'let's continue this later' and leave the room. I wouldn't have stood around waiting!

purpleliquorice Thu 10-Nov-16 17:51:04

Username: I think that sounds like a good idea for next time. I felt a bit silly stood there waiting, but at the same time, she's not worth getting in a twist over or having a confrontation with. I see her as really miserable and pathetic, but don't want to be walked over either.

WingsofNylon Thu 10-Nov-16 17:56:15

I similar but less extreme situation happened to me today. I waited then vowed to never let that happen again. Next time I will be ready with any of the following 'We are in the middle of a discussion here' 'We will be finished at x, if you'd like to come back?' '

Bluntness100 Thu 10-Nov-16 17:59:25

Why stand there waiting? All you do is tap the person you were talking to on the arm and say "we can finish this later, will leave you to it" and move on. Standing waiting for about ten mins is a bit strange to be honest. If the person uou had been talking to wanted to they could have easily cut short the conversation with the woman uou don't like and turned back to you. The fact they didn't and engaged for ten mins shows uou should have just politely excused yourself and moved away.

Trifleorbust Thu 10-Nov-16 18:05:37

Agree that you should have simply excused yourself. I wouldn't even bother to be polite to the colleague you were speaking to - she was equally rude. Were both/either of the conversations work related?

Yoksha Thu 10-Nov-16 18:11:30

It's not limited to people who don't like someone. Some just don't have manners. This has happened loads of times to me even with those who I know like me. The interupted person just stops & engages with the interuptee.

Others just don't read social cues properley & respond. Infuriating I know.

Myusernameismyusername Thu 10-Nov-16 18:11:52

I have a lot of people coming in my office every day and sometimes one conversation will end up trumping another if work related - but I will say to a colleague 'really sorry, can I catch up with you later?' Befoee I launch into something new not only is it polite and courteous it's also more professional

purpleliquorice Thu 10-Nov-16 18:20:13

The conversation I was having was work related. The conversation the colleague who interrupted was having was not and not one I could contribute to either. I was waiting for an answer from the colleague I'd been talking to you, hence why I waited around for 10 mins. In hindsight I should have interrupted and said Id go back later and walked away. The conversation just seemed to be ending a number of times, hence why I waited, but the interrupting colleague seems to want to drag it out for as long as possible, to add to my discomfort!

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected Thu 10-Nov-16 18:20:21

Your friend does sound socially in inept tbh. She should have either included you in the conversation (with tact it can be done regardless of whether you both like each other or not), or as others have said: really sorry I'll catch up with you later etc.

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected Thu 10-Nov-16 18:22:20

cross post.
yes, she must have been lapping it up :0(

purpleliquorice Thu 10-Nov-16 18:23:13

My friend did try to include me in the conversation to be fair, but the interrupting colleague kept her sour face poised towards the face of my colleague so as not to acknowledge my presence at all. She has done this before. She's extremely insecure though.

Myusernameismyusername Thu 10-Nov-16 18:23:17

Both colleagues sound like twats!!

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected Thu 10-Nov-16 18:28:35

purple - well that's good and she's good for trying to!!!
the other girl sounds like quite a case

Bluntness100 Thu 10-Nov-16 18:29:16

You really hate this woman, every post you use to insult and criticise her. This is much more than "never liked very much" .

Trifleorbust Thu 10-Nov-16 18:36:12

I would have interrupted actually and asked my colleague whether she wanted to finish the work related discussion now or later on. Next time: "Sorry to interrupt but I need to finish this discussion or I need to get on. Do you want to come back to this or..?"

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected Thu 10-Nov-16 18:41:19

Have you read the OP's opening post Bluntness?
If someone bullies you, you have every right not to like them?
Where is OP being insulting? Critical, yes, of the poor treatment of her!!

Myusernameismyusername Thu 10-Nov-16 18:49:43

It's ok to hate some people
We are only humans. I hate a few

DrMorbius Thu 10-Nov-16 20:38:50

Teachers...... Kids wearing adult clothes.

I've only ever met one teacher I would employ. Enough said

Nanny0gg Thu 10-Nov-16 20:44:02

The colleague 'in the middle' was wrong.

She should have shut down the interrupter and continued her conversation with you.

Trifleorbust Thu 10-Nov-16 20:46:22

Morbius: What a rude and sweeping generalisation.

Cherrysoup Thu 10-Nov-16 20:49:26

Teachers...... Kids wearing adult clothes. I've only ever met one teacher I would employ.

OP specifically mentions offices as opposed to classrooms. Many places have staffrooms but are not necessarily schools. Do keep up.

Jolly good job I don't share your sentiment, having employed some amazing people over the years: people first, teachers second.

OP, I'm cringing for you. You let her treat you as though you were worthless. Don't allow such interruptions in future, do as pp said and tell her when you'll be finished and to come back later. If necessary, face her and say you're mid conversation and she will have to wait.

CauliflowerSqueeze Thu 10-Nov-16 20:50:40

Agree with others, call out "we'll catch up later!" bright smile and walk off

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now