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(15 Posts)
jayisforjessica Wed 09-Nov-16 07:57:58

My DP and I are separating. It's amicable, thank goodness.

RedMapleLeaf Wed 09-Nov-16 08:01:37

How are you feeling?

jayisforjessica Wed 09-Nov-16 08:03:23

Guilty, mostly. Sad. Worried about how this is going to affect DS. Anxious about the fact that I'm currently pregnant with twins. But mostly guilty.

faffalotty Wed 09-Nov-16 10:16:47

Why guilty?

Lostandlonely1979 Wed 09-Nov-16 11:51:33

What's the cause of the separation? Sorry to hear you're going through this while pregnant but good that it's amicable.

jayisforjessica Wed 09-Nov-16 12:18:43

Guilty, because it was my fault. I fell for someone else. I kissed someone else. And then, because I was trying to be honest, I told him about the kiss.

We've talked it out, and agreed that separating is the best path for us at this stage.

Lostandlonely1979 Wed 09-Nov-16 12:41:54

Why do you think you fell for someone else? Are you leaving for that someone?

The only thing that'll help you with your guilt is establishing that you are separating for the right reasons and that, fundamentally, your relationship probably can't and won't go the distance.

Have you considered trying counselling together to get past the infidelity?

jayisforjessica Wed 09-Nov-16 13:02:46

Our relationship was... comfortable. But there was no passion, no fire, not really. We were going through the motions. DP agrees with me.

I am not leaving for her, but I think I am going to pursue a relationship with her. As in, I'm not moving him out and moving her straight in. All we've done is kiss, and that only one time. We'll be taking it slow.

We did think about counselling, but DP made the point that all the talking in the world won't change the fact that I fell for someone else.

rememberthetime Wed 09-Nov-16 13:07:33

Speaking from experience - it is best to give yourself a long time before starting a new relationship. it will devastate your ex that you have moved on so quick and it is unlikely to work out anyway.

Lostandlonely1979 Wed 09-Nov-16 13:07:51

Oh kiss was with a her! I have a friend who went through a very similar situation. She's never looked back and is so, so happy. As is her wonderful DS.

I hope you can get through this with minimal upset. How old is DS?

Interesting that your partner agrees that your relationship was flat, will make this process much smoother I think.

jayisforjessica Wed 09-Nov-16 13:11:50

DS is 12, and knows her well. We've been friends a long time.

user1478700534 Wed 09-Nov-16 14:13:29

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

jayisforjessica Wed 09-Nov-16 21:52:58

Well now I'm morbidly wondering what that comment said.

BubbleGumBubble Wed 09-Nov-16 21:55:02

User has been trolling all over the place.

BubbleGumBubble Wed 09-Nov-16 21:56:30

Becareful OP the grass is rarely greener on the other side.

Just take things slowly.

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