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How would you take these texts?

(45 Posts)
pullingmyhairout2 Tue 08-Nov-16 20:25:00

Neighbour of mine text me to ask if I would check his gate to make sure it was locked. Did so and replied to say it was locked and had he lost his marbles?
There were a few texts after saying thanks and sorry to bother you Etc . Then one saying to get on with my housework and me replying no chance with the kids on holiday, tea and biscuits more like.
Then he sends me a text saying I hope you are deleting these text i don't want anyone seeing them, just you and me?
I was a bit taken a back by that and didn't reply straight away so he text again saying no reply then?
So I replied saying I'm confused as to why you want me to delete these texts? To which he replied, Its not that, I need to say things to u but I can't.

What would you think if you received those texts?

AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 08-Nov-16 20:27:52

Neighbour interpreted the joking about housework to be flirting, tested the water with the deletion message, you closed them down and now they are hinting that they have something to tell you to create intimacy again.

Is neighbour single? Are you? Are you interested? If not, I'd adopt a much more cordial and less friendly persona for a while.

CrazyDuchess Tue 08-Nov-16 20:28:51

I'd stop responding confused then if he crosses the line with the messages I'd block!

anyoldname76 Tue 08-Nov-16 20:30:32

are you or him with anybody? Maybe he wants declare undying love , hes testing the water so to speak

oldlaundbooth Tue 08-Nov-16 20:30:58

Weird. Sounds like he fancies you.

Don't respond.

PurplePen Tue 08-Nov-16 20:32:39

Well the need to delete the texts implies that one or both of you have partners.

So I'd reply "I don't think that's appropriate, please don't text me again".

NotYoda Tue 08-Nov-16 20:34:13

Well the last one is self-explanatory. he fancies you, and has mistaken your banter for thinking he's in with a chance

AnyFucker Tue 08-Nov-16 20:38:14

He wants to get into your pants

pullingmyhairout2 Tue 08-Nov-16 20:42:22

It's not me imagining things then?
He's married as am I.
I'm not at all interested in him in that way in fact he's old enough to be my dad!
When we moved here 18 months ago I loved the fact that we got on with all our neighbours. He's always been a bit too friendly at times but when I've gone out of my way to avoid him he collared me and asked if I had a problem with him.
Will now add that I told my husband about the texts. He went round and said I don't appreciate the texts u sent. Neighbour says I've taken it the wrong way.
Then this afternoon his wife has come round to ask what's going on.
I showed her my phone. She says it's just him joking?

whirlygirly Tue 08-Nov-16 20:42:43

He sounds like a sleazy bloke I once worked with. Ignore unless you're into him. He's trying to establish some kind of rapport. Yuck.

whirlygirly Tue 08-Nov-16 20:43:55

His wife has her head firmly in the sand. Grim.

PurplePen Tue 08-Nov-16 20:45:39

Ok, so now block his number and be nothing but icily polite with him and his fool of a wife.

pullingmyhairout2 Tue 08-Nov-16 20:45:49

Thankyou for all the replays. This has been going round and round in my head for ages.
I was even doubting myself thinking I'd lost the plot!

AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 08-Nov-16 20:47:18

Oh gross. No, you're correct that his intent was obvious, and his wife just didn't want to see it.

I'd block his number now, to be honest.

Meeep Tue 08-Nov-16 20:48:08

Ugh, he was joking about having an affair, but, it wasn't a joke.
He's a sleazy git who probably does this all the time, making things awkward for his wife and other women. Poor you!

Muddlewitch Tue 08-Nov-16 20:53:05

Yuck, you are not overthinking it he is a sleaze. I work with a man like this too. His wife is deliberately misunderstanding it I think.

Bogeyface Tue 08-Nov-16 20:54:04

Definitely testing the water in a way that can be seen as "just being friendly". I wouldnt be surprised if his wife knows, but wants to believe his version.

I had this once. Lots of messages that were giving me a feeling, but nothing that you could put your finger on and say "There, thats inappropriate" because taken alone, they werent!

He was married and a friend of my (then) DH, and he worked lates and knew that DH worked office hours so would suggest popping round for a coffee. I made sure I was busy. Ex DH would say that he was just being friendly. Then we were out at our local and the guy had had a fair few and said why didnt he come round and we could have some fun and no one need know......unfortunately for him the landlord, and good friend of ex, overheard him.

I was actually really glad he had said that because until then I thought I was going potty and over reacting! Words were had and even now, almost 20 years later, he crosses the road or puts his head down and scuttles away if he sees me. That may have something to do with ex threatening to tell his wife .

AyeAmarok Tue 08-Nov-16 21:00:50

Yep, very clear what he was getting at.

Poor woman choosing to put up with him.

pullingmyhairout2 Tue 08-Nov-16 21:01:03

Bogeyface, that's exactly it. Thankyou for making me feel I'm not going mad.
His wife was implying I'd led him on, when I asked for an example she said because I laughed when he said he had a small nob that would fit on there. This was with my husband in the room and was while he was talking to my husband about a new door that we had just fitted?! My husband also laughed! when she said that I just said are you being serious?

Featherybum Tue 08-Nov-16 21:13:52

You aren't imagining it at all, i also think he was sounding you out to see if you were interested and then trying to cover it up. His wife knows im sure and is trying to cover it up too, and blame you. I bet he does this a lot.

Bogeyface Tue 08-Nov-16 21:14:05

His wife was implying I'd led him on

SHe has to believe that its your fault, that you are a seductive husband stealer, because the only other alternative is that she is married to a sleazy twat who is trying to fuck their neighbours. I would be very VERY surprised if this is the first time he has done this, especially as she has gone straight on the defensive. He wanted you to delete texts, she already saw the texts and went straight into a) denial and b) blame shifting.......I would be interested to know what their old neighbours had to say about him, and why they moved.....

pullingmyhairout2 Tue 08-Nov-16 21:30:51

The thought of why they moved before was also something I'd considered. because they moved quite away out from where they were and further from work. He's often talked about previous neighbours. There's normally some woman who's "fit" that he will talk about.
Can't believe I've been so stupid. if this is what politeness gets you they can all f**k right off!

IreallyKNOWiamright Tue 08-Nov-16 21:49:07

I wouldn't have any further contact. If he texts don't reply if he comes round don't answer the door. He sounds like a creep and next he'll come on to you and you'll get the blame for the sleezy behaviour. 😣

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Tue 08-Nov-16 21:57:59

I wouldn't take it too personally. My DH had a sleezy work colleague who told me once during a drunken work do (I was pgt so completely sober) that he just worked on a kind of percentage basis, if he propositioned enough women some of them would 'bite'. He was married at the time and I found him totally loathesome.

pullingmyhairout2 Tue 08-Nov-16 22:00:55

Thats the plan, or was til I blooming text a reply to my husband while writing on this thread and stupidly forgot I was still on neighbours number from making sure I got the wording right. Thankfully he hasn't replied! Omg it can only happen to me!

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