dd has had a nervous breakdown. She cannot manage her first year at uni. She split up with a boyfriend last year, they got back for a while this year and split up again. She is totally lacking in confidence despite being beautiful, clever and funny. However, due to her father spending the last three years undermining her, telling her she'd never amount to anything, calling her a cunt at regular intervals, she doesn't believe that she is any of those things. This (I suspect) has been done deliberately, I think he thought she'd look after him. What worries me is she might at some point because all she wants is Dad to love her and she can't quite see that Dad only loves himself. He hasn't been here for a couple of months and I have other threads about how he is still exerting his control, in the main through the (vulnerable adult) dc. The latest attack was last week in which she had to cope with a forty minute diatribe about how evil and controlling I am and how I have done nothing but stolen from him, her and everybody else for years on end. Of course none of it's true, he has a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and this is what he tells himself because he is unable to accept responsibility. She did ask him not to talk about us, but he ignored her. She begged him to drop (the trumped up) allegations about me, and he told her that I hadn't been through what he'd been through and that it was my fault and I could stop it going to court by accepting that I'd done these things.
None of this is true of course. I'm arranging help and counselling for her (whilst going through the same for me) but although in her twenties, emotionally she's fifteen and really doesn't understand why it's dangerous to be friends with a narcissistic person with borderline personality disorder. I just want to look after her and keep her safe from him and have no idea how to protect her from his more unpleasant traits. Any ideas appreciated, she really is so very vulnerable.
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Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2016 20:27
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